


The Way

by st_clair



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Consensual Non-Consent, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominant Kylo Ren, Everything is consensual, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gray Jedi, Gray Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Gray jedi school, It's kinda dark but not darkfic, Kink Negotiation, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Mysterious Kylo Ren, Oral Sex, Penetration, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Rey (Star Wars) Has Issues, Rey fucks a non-sentient machine, Rey's a little feral, Rough Sex, Sexual Roleplay, Sexual Tension, Smut, Student Rey (Star Wars), Teacher Kylo Ren, Well-adjusted Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:55:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24646786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st_clair/pseuds/st_clair
Summary: The statue bores at her. The feeling travels across the distance and crawls into her spine. She has the inexplicable urge to scream. It’s the first time she’s seen someone in battle gear, and didn’t think they were hiding.❦While training to become a Gray, Rey meets The Master of the Knights of Ren.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 30
Kudos: 99





	1. i see darkness in you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) everyone's gray here, except for the Knights of Ren. I borrowed some elements from the Shadow Academy like Brakiss and the chamber. This will be very smutty and explicit content comes in chp4. I'm trying out a new writing style where the exposition is kept to minimum and the dialogue is the beating heart of the story, we'll seeeee how that goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Non-graphic violence in a training environment + mentions of bruises and fractured ribs, all involving Rey. No interpersonal violence

Violence is all there is; la danse de la vie.

It’s the moment an apex predator lunges from its hiding spot and attacks. It’s the moment a snake wraps its tail around struggling prey and sinks sharp teeth into raw flesh. It’s the first, most fundamental rule of life, and it lives in all things. There is harmony here, she thinks, nature and violence are the only two things in the galaxy that don’t lie.

She’s not prey.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

She’s running. The trees shift around her. Her mind unfolds with every step, a trail for her to follow. Sounds blur away, and she can only feel the rhythm inside her chest, in sync with every move and breath she takes.

_This._

The trees bend and she soars, and lands in a crouch. The probe is just ahead. Rey throws a branch and strikes the metal ball, pinning it to a tree. She yanks it free and splinters push into her skin. It's child play, she knows, these sessions make a mockery of something that just _is_.

_Still_ —while she has the substance; they can show her the form.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

It’s dark when she returns; the three moons light her way. The flat top of the ziggurat bleeds into the sky, lower than the surrounding temples and monolithic structures of the school. Rey scales the stone walls and jumps into the ruined maze.

She lands deftly and walks without sound. Broken statues and stone pillars meet her through the trail, and she slips into the common grounds. Her eyes dart, and she’s met by an assembly of bodies. Students are lined up in front of Brakiss, and behind him, several other teachers.

‘You’re late, scavenger.’

Rey can’t help it, she smiles. Something about Brakiss is comical to her. He’s amusing. She’s never met someone who tries so hard.

‘My apologies, Master.’

She takes her place among the students and straightens.

‘Something funny, scavenger?’

‘No, Master.’

‘Where were you, this time? Skewering rats, is it?’

‘The training course, Master.’

‘Oh yes. Squashing _probes_. How could anyone compete with that?’

Rey smiles again. He talks to everyone like this, but he takes perverse relish with her. He’s trying so hard to show her how small she is, but from where she’s standing, he’s a bug and one day she’ll squash him too.

‘Since you seem to find me so funny, you can run the chamber tomorrow.’

The students, who have remained unmoving so far, look at her an inch. They don’t pity her, per se, they’re just relieved it’s not them. Rey refuses to show weakness.

‘Looking forward to it, Master.’

Brakiss relents and moves back into his drawl. Something about structural hierarchies. Rey zones out. Her eyes wander. Behind Brakiss, a line of Grays stand straight. She only recognises Katarn and Asajj, both Battlemasters.

Katarn’s battle-hardened, lines under his eyes, across his forehead, at the corners of his mouth. It’s everything he’s endured. He wears his life and his pain on his face, and Rey almost pities this. This is how the weak look, when they have to reinforce their body with metal and steel to face the world.

Asajj is the only one Rey admires. She glides through shadows like water, and often twists her dual sabers in such a way that makes Rey wonder how it would feel to be struck by them. She’s not human either, and her long skull moves into severe features, skin pale and silver. Rey aspires to her brutality and sheer will.

Her eyes move, just a fraction to the right, and she sees a statue shift. Rey focuses, and _feels_ him. He’d been standing so still she thought him an inanimate object. He’s hidden within the shadows, barely an outline, just a dark mass.

Rey has the instinct to bare her teeth. She doesn’t. The dark bores at her. She feels taunted. She’s not going to look away first, even if she can’t see a pair of eyes, she can feel them, the weight almost unbearable. She imagines running her saberstaff across the shadow.

The moments bleed together, and Rey only comes back to herself when Brakiss has dismissed them. She searches for the dark statue, but everyone blurs around each other as they move, and she loses sight of it.

‘You’re a liability.’ Sab says.

Rey walks beside her, back straight like she’s still being watched. ‘What did Brakiss say?’

‘Some knights have been recruited to help teach, since we’re reaching the hundreds.’

Rey looks at Sab, eyebrows drawn. ‘I thought I saw someone new.’

‘There’s seven of them.’ Sab confirms, followed with, ‘You shouldn’t talk to Brat-kiss like that, he’ll start beating you. They used to do that in the old days.’

‘He could try.’ Rey says.

Sab hums in response. They’re not friends, per se—no one really is—but they’re certainly drawn to each other. They fought often when Rey first arrived, arguments that turned into spars, that turned into fights.

They arrive at the billet, a sprawling stone unit of living quarters. For most people it’s home. For Rey, it’s temporary. Before they depart to their own private rooms, Sab asks, ‘You wanna run simulation tomorrow, before the chamber?’

Rey considers this. It would be an advantage, yes, but it would also make her look weak. She had run the chamber before without practice and survived. Now, she was even more finely tuned.

‘I don’t need it.’ Rey says, then asks, ‘Are you gonna watch?’

‘As if I’d miss the chance to watch you get thrown.’

Rey smiles.

In her room, she thinks about Brakiss; the way his veiny temple bursts when he’s trying to contain his anger. She thinks of his bulging eyes, and how he gives himself away to whoever makes him angry. She thinks about his fists as they clench whenever he’s challenged.

Then, she thinks about pushing a piece of metal through his right eye, _slowly_. She would let him bleed out this way, dying on a scrap of metal. He’s not worth a saber, not worth a good death. She falls into the humid fantasy and it takes her to sleep.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Rey approaches the chamber archway. She’s well-rested and clothed in thermal black. Katarn greets her, looking solemn, bored even.

‘Are you ready?’ he asks.

Rey nods once.

‘Remember, you can ask for a reprieve.’ Katarn says.

Nobody asks for a reprieve in the chamber. It’s just something they say. The students would rather pass out from exhaustion _,_ and actually they have. The first time Rey ran the chamber, it took her twenty-seven minutes and two broken bones.

The chamber, with implied _torture_ in its name, is empty and vast. Rey sees specks of dirt and dust float through streaks of light as she enters. The podium above is filled with bodies. The doors close, and the screech reverberates around the circular stone walls.

Somewhere, a transparisteel panel separates the chamber from an observation room, where the controls are housed. Brakiss will be there. Anticipation thrives in the space between her fingers.

The walls grind open. A beam of silver, ice-cold water erupts and hits her hard. She’s thrown into the wall violently. The ice water opens her skin, a thousand tiny cuts. The onslaught continues. She tries to scream. It gives up for a moment.

She can barely breathe. She vomits swallowed water. Her ears ring. Her lungs burn. Her eyes scream. Flashing lights commence, sharp and blinding. Beams of water from either side erupt and throw her again.

A metal ball sweeps through the chamber. It emits a high-pitched wail. It’s the sonic generator. If she catches that, it’s over. Her body takes the water. She holds her ears. The lights continue to strobe.

She falls into her mind. _Violence is all there is._ A tightly coiled feeling straightens like a piece of string. It guides her. _Stop,_ she commands and the barrage of water snaps and bends. The water whirls around her like a cocoon.

She stands and pivots. The water moves with her. She focuses on the flashing lights and commands, _shatter._ They break and the pieces spray. The chamber plunges into shadow again.

The sonic generator continues to speed around the chamber, a blur of movement. Rey thinks, _drown._ The water shifts into black and explodes outwards. It engulfs the metal ball. She holds her hand out, commanding it to her.

Dark, muddy water thrashes around the chamber. It bypasses Rey as if she stood inside an invisible shield. It drowns the sonic pitch. Her ears find relief. The ball fights its way to her through the storm and flies into her hand.

It’s over, she’s done. The beams stop and the remaining water falls away. It pools on the ground.

No. She wants it _broken_.

She imagines Brakiss’s head and presses the ball between both hands. It’s reinforced steel, it shouldn’t break. But she’s angry and she lets everything spill out. She pushes and the metal caves. Her hands bleed with the force.

All she can think is, _squashing probes._

Vents from the ground open to drain the water. Rey pants and drops the sonic generator.

The archway doors creek and Brakiss storms in. He’s livid.

‘ _Scavenger_. You weren’t supposed to crush the ball.’

Rey smiles through exhaustion. ‘Sorry, Master.’

Suddenly, the podium above erupts with applause. Rey grins with her whole face. Brakiss glowers.

‘We’re not done here.’ He warns her. Rey gives him a thumbs-up. One day she’ll push her thumbs into his eyeballs.

Brakiss storms out, water splashing everywhere. Rey looks at the shadowed podium. She spots an outline. It’s the statue, she’s sure of it. A sensation crawls over her skin.

She comes back to herself. She’s drenched, her muscles ache, and her hands are bleeding.

She walks through the chamber, unsteady, and meets Katarn outside. The daylight stings. Her ears swirl with water.

‘Go to med-bay.’ He tells her.

Rey starts in the direction. She stops when Katarn says, ‘That was something.’

He gives her a frank look. It’s confusion, and admiration, and something else.

Rey ignores him, disorientated. Later, she thinks about Katarn’s expression. He was impressed.

He was also scared.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

It’s dark when Sab collects her from the med-bay. Rey can barely move. She’s covered in dark swollen bruises. Her hands are wrapped; her abdomen bound. Her limbs are stiff. The tiny cuts on her arms and face are starting to close.

‘You’ve never looked better, Jakku.’

Rey tries to laugh. Her ribs scream. She grunts.

‘The bacta not working?’ Sab asks.

‘Med-bay couldn’t find any. Brakiss, probably.’

‘Someone needs to give him a few broken bones.’ Sab says.

Rey couldn’t agree more. Sab helps her walk and she begrudgingly allows it.

‘Everyone’s talking about you.’

‘Yeah?’

‘What you did in there, Rey, it was strange.’

Rey shoots her a look. ‘I used the force, so what?’

‘Are you sure? It looked strange.’

Rey doesn’t have the energy to ask.

Sab tells her anyway, ‘You turned the water black _._ And there was something around you, like a dark mist. It was coming from you. Your eyes were glowing. You didn’t look like yourself.’

It’s news to Rey, but it doesn’t mean much.

‘We all have our own expression with the force.’ She says.

‘Brakiss had steam coming from his ears.’ Sab says, and she’s delighted about it.

Rey smiles too. ‘Yeah.’

They cross the temple grounds, where a group of cloaked individuals convened.

‘The knights,’ Sab whispers.

Rey squints through the darkness, and suddenly she wants to push Sab away. The urge not to seem like prey is visceral, overpowering.

‘Rey.’ Sab says, because they’ve stopped.

Rey can’t move. Through the distance, she sees him. The statue, the shadow, the sheer height and mass. His movements are solid, considered, calculated. He doesn’t waste any part of himself. He’s attuned.

The knights turn in unison, and Rey sees clearly. The seven of them are masked, shrouded in black combat gear, reinforced with steel. Their helmets are similar but different, each one more brutal and angular than the last. Some of the knights have weapons. Rey sees a scythe, a war club and a vibrocleaver.

The statue bores at her. The feeling travels across the distance and crawls into her spine. She has the inexplicable urge to scream.

The skies open, as if the moment accumulated it, and rain falls.

Sab pushes them on. When they’re a considerable distance away, she says, ‘Ghouls.’

Rey wonders how true that might be. It’s the first time she’s seen someone in battle gear, and didn’t think they were hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see darkness in you by Red Mecca.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
> 
> is the spacing weird i kinda like it


	2. there is something about, the way you are, that makes me (sigh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Non-graphic knife violence between Rey and a male character, no major injuries and minor reference to blood (Rey's the threat, not the prey)

Rain spits sporadically. The day is dull and cloudy.

Rey joins them in the maze. Her injuries aren't healed, and even though she isn’t supposed to do physical training for another two weeks, she’s bored.

The group eyes her, out of admiration or fear she isn’t sure.

Asajj calls their attention. ‘Make your choice of weapon. Enter the maze. The probes will shoot simulated lasers at you. It will hurt. You will not die.’

The statue observes them. He’s wearing a helmet still. Rey straightens. She’s not nervous. It’s not anxiety. It’s something deeper, more visceral. It slithers around inside her.

The students approach the pile of metal and steel, scanning for the best option. Asajj stops Rey with a shake of her head.

‘Not you, scavenger.’

Rey breathes. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Really?’ Asajj asks. She squeezes Rey’s waist.

Rey hisses sharply.

Asajj places a solid hand on Rey’s shoulder. ‘Maybe you need mental training instead.’

‘Ren,’ she calls, ‘Force-walk the scavenger.’

The statue approaches. Rey fights the urge to step back. She never moves, for anyone.

Asajj returns to the group. ‘First one to make it out the other side doesn’t have to walk around with shame for the next week. Let’s go.’

Rey stares at the helmet where the eyes should be.

Then he says, in a modulated voice, ‘Follow me.’

Rey follows him through the training grounds. He walks ahead of her with purpose, his spine straight. They approach the temple and enter the empty ruins. It’s quiet, almost humid inside.

He takes her to a hidden alcove, a circular space, with ornate pillars and decayed walls. Daylight barely hits the space through the cracked crown. Every footstep echoes.

In the alcove, Rey instinctually circles him, and he circles her.

‘Nice mask.’ She says.

He stops, and she stops too.

He unhooks and removes his helmet. She feels anticipation, steels herself.

She bears at him. The face is long, features prolific. Sunken cheeks and dark eyes. He’s young, but formidable. He bears back.

‘Why do they call you scavenger?’

His voice rocks her, though she remains still. It’s low and deep, but soft and resonates. She can sense he’s feral, like her. Dangerous, like her. But where she screams, he whispers.

‘The scouts found me on Jakku.’

He’s almost amused. ‘And your parents?’

‘Gone.’

He sets his helmet down, and pulls his gloves free. ‘We’ll run through a basic mental simulation. I can see how advanced you are.’

Rey watches his hands flex.

‘How’s your ribs?’

‘Healing slowly.’ Rey hates to admit. She adds, ‘We’re low on bacta, apparently.’

His eyes flicker. He doesn’t miss the implication. He asks, ‘What’s your name?’

She’s sure he knows, but she answers, ‘Rey,’ and even though she heard Asajj say it earlier, she asks, ‘And yours?’

He smiles without humour, as if the thought never occurred to him. She’s trying to put them on equal ground.

‘Ren.’

She's certain it’s not his real name.

‘Stand still, Rey.’ He commands.

She finds herself _wanting_ to comply. She’s furious.

Ren circles her and she braces herself.

He doesn’t touch her, but his eyes flicker and she can feel the ghost of them over her neck, her arms, her back.

‘Take a deep breath. Lower your shoulders. Close your eyes.’

Despite better judgement, Rey inhales, unclenches, and closes her eyes.

He pushes a low pulsing sound into her mind, and his movements are masked.

_‘Where am I?’_ his voice echoes through the force.

The force rolls out around her, and behind her eyes, she can feel him. ‘Behind me.’

_‘Answer with the force. And now?’_

Moments pass, she finds him. _‘To my left.’_

_‘And now?’_

Rey exhales. She feels the warmth of her own breath. _‘Close enough for me to breathe on you.’_

_‘And now?’_

She reaches out. _‘By the pillar.’_

‘ _Tell me a secret.’_

It’s a suggestion, light and fluid. It moves all around her, caressing every edge of her mind. It hums softly and vibrates under her fingertips. He’s trying to compel her.

She resists easily. _‘No.’_

He applies pressure this time. _‘Tell me a secret.’_

Rey shifts, tense. She remains fortified. _‘No.’_

_‘Tell me what you did this morning.’_

The urge to comply is still there, and he’s changing tactics. If he coaxes something insignificant, he can establish a link and persuade her to divulge something deeper.

_‘No.’_

He syncs their breath, each inhale and exhale magnified. It resonates across the force. He’s dulcet now, _‘How did you sleep?’_

Rey grimaces. _‘Get out of my head.’_

_‘Do you think your enemy will allow you a reprieve? Do you think they will have compassion for you?’_

Rey swallows.

_‘How did you sleep?’_

She bends, for just a second. _‘Broken—’_

He hums in response. _‘Why?’_

Rey finds the coil inside herself. She pulls and it straightens. It’s the only thing she can ever rely on.

It guides her out of Ren’s influence and into the space around them. She can still feel him, though she’s less impacted.

_‘What do your parents look like?’_

The question is wounding, and pulls her back into his arena.

_‘I don’t know.’_

_‘Sure, you do. Remember.’_

‘This isn’t something I want to do.’ She says aloud.

She waits for him to goad her, _your enemy won’t care, they’ll do worse,_ but it never comes. He shifts around her.

_‘I’m going to walk inside your mind. Any memories you don’t want me to see, just imagine a door.’_

His influence morphs and takes fluid shape in the crevices she calls home. She feels cut open, her organs spilling out. She tries to resist the intrusion, but it's useless, his presence is suffocating, brutal, _there_.

He walks carefully, as if not to make the slightest sound or mark while he’s trampling all over her messy insides. His eyes consume and consume and consume. She imagines row after row of closed doors.

There it is again. That crawling sensation. The instinct to bare teeth. To kill. To submit. It’s warm, familiar and yet so strange. It should feel unnatural, but she slips into it like a waterfall with only one destination.

Rey falls—or pulls, something in-between—and two heartbeats merge into one resonating sound. It pulses around them and echoes across the force. She feels his intrigue, his curiosity. He’s just as puzzled as she is.

This is something new, and yet at the same time, something very old.

Somehow, they know each other.

_‘What are you?’_ He asks, but it doesn’t feel like the question is directed at her.

_‘Not prey.’_ She answers regardless.

He hums in amusement. She reaches out and finds herself in darkness, not a darkness she can see, no, this is something visceral and wet.

She’s inside his mind. He’s taken aback. Despite his objections, the darkness rolls out in front of her, screaming to be walked on.

Rey plunges deeper. The landscape morphs into a barren wasteland. Her throat tightens.

_‘Scavenger.’_ He warns.

_‘You started this. You shouldn’t have underestimated me.’_

He withdraws so sharply she lands on her hands and knees. Her ribs ache with the impact. She hisses through bare teeth.

Ren collects his helmet and gloves from the ground. He hovers above her.

She comes back to herself slowly, pieces crawling into formation. Her ears ring.

‘I won’t do that again.’ He says.

Rey hears his footsteps depart. She rolls onto her back and exhales through the pain. She sees dust float around her.

_I won’t do that again_.

Rey wonders: would he never connect with her again? Would he never underestimate her again?

Both?

It’s a sick, twisted realisation, that she wants only one of them to be true.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Rey sits in front of the campfire, amongst a group of students. She holds a skewer of meat over the fire and twirls it.

Dolph is saying something about an Alderaan artefact, something inconsequential. Tash, an Alderaan native, interjects with more accurate information, something like ‘—actually it was destroyed when _my_ planet was _blown_ up.’

Dolph sneers in protest.

Rey blows air out, bored.

‘Something you wanna say, scavenger?’ Dolph asks.

‘Only if you’re done sucking the oxygen out of here.’

Some laugh, some exchange looks.

‘You think we can’t see through your feral-rat act,’ Dolph starts, ‘But I could take you.’

Rey fixes on him. He is so insignificant to her, but perception matters, especially around here.

‘Okay.’ She says and pierces her skewer into the ground.

Dolph makes a face. He mocks her. ‘ _Okay_.’

Rey stands and levels at him. ‘Get up.’

Sab laughs from the sidelines.

He almost balks. ‘I’m not fighting you, rat.’

‘Get up.’ Rey repeats.

His face hardens. He pushes up. They walk into the clearing next to the campfire and the group pivots to watch them.

‘You’re still injured,’ Dolph snaps. ‘As much as I’d love to break your face, you’re not worth getting the chamber for.’

Rey laughs. ‘You’re not breaking anything of me.’

She pulls a knife from her boot. She flips it over, catching the steel blade. She holds it out for Dolph to take.

He glares at her and takes the hilt.

‘Mercurian rules.’ Rey says. A murmur erupts in the group.

It’s a very specific challenge, and it’s only enacted when you’re certain your opponent will concede first. When you doubt your opponent has the heart to kill.

He holds the knife outwards in front of his abdomen. Rey steps forward. She walks until the tip of the blade presses into her, and the hilt presses into him.

Dolph grits his teeth. Rey smiles. This part she loves the most.

She pushes herself against the blade. It cuts through fabric and hisses against her skin. Her bruises pulse and scream.

She bores into him. He thinks he can take her.

Can he kill her though?

She could kill him.

Dolph starts shaking. Before she’s even cut, he steps back and the knife falls.

Rey picks it up. ‘Do you yield?’

Dolph glowers. He walks forward, and she holds the knife against her stomach.

The hilt folds into her combat binds against his weight. The pressure of it against her fractured ribs is agonising, but she can’t lose to someone as weak as him. She channels the pain. It spurs her on.

The tip of the blade pierces his tunic and strains against his skin.

She feels a rush of adrenaline. He pushes against the knife; Rey holds it steady.

The hilt caves inside her stomach, bruising even more. He exhales onto her face.

Rey holds steady. She can feel the blade’s first cut, just the tip, as it tears open his flesh.

Her teeth bare. He grimaces.

‘I yield.’ Dolph splutters.

Rey steps back, a little disappointed.

Dolph clutches his stomach.

‘You’ll be fine.’ Rey says dismissively. There’s barely any blood on the blade.

She wipes the tip on his trousers. He recoils. She slots the knife back into her boot.

‘Go on then.’ Rey gestures to the campfire. ‘Finish your little story.’

The group is quiet. The mood has drastically changed.

Dolph stares at her, pure hatred.

‘One day, scavenger.’ He says.

‘Oh, you promise?’ Rey mocks him.

Dolph spits on the ground and stalks away. Rey looks at the group. They regard her warily. Tash is the only one who beams from ear to ear.

‘You’re popular these days.’ Sab slides in.

‘Hold my knife while I cry.’ Rey says. She starts toward the billet.

‘Rey.’ Sab says, and stops her. ‘You don’t have to crush everyone who questions your power. Some people aren’t worth it.’

‘It was fun, though.’

‘Yeah, it was. But sometimes I think you forget why you’re here. We’re training to be Grays, remember? That means you’ll have to work as part of a group. A unit. You need people to trust you, to rely on you. You can’t fly solo forever.’

Rey squints. There’s truth in what Sab says. Except, Rey’s always known she would never be a Gray. She just needed them to teach her form. She’s defecting after graduation.

‘Maybe that’s true.’ Rey says. ‘I don’t have to crush everyone who questions my power. But I _want_ to.’

Nineteen years of isolation and desert will do that to someone. She’s been on the edge of death so many times she considers him a friend. More days than not, she’s had to kill to stay alive. None of these people are like her.

‘Do you think I could kill you?’ Sab levels, curious.

‘I think you’re capable, but I wouldn’t let you get that far.’

Sab hums. They start walking again.

‘I heard you had a private lesson with one of those ghouls.’

‘Ren.’ Rey says. At the memory of his presence against hers, she moves her neck to counteract a shiver.

Sab makes a face. ‘Ren? Does that make him the leader or something?’

‘Of what?’

‘Those jumped-up mercenaries. They’re called the Knights of Ren. All that armour, I think they’re compensating for something.’

Rey laughs, then grimaces. Her ribs convulse.

‘I can’t wait for this to heal.’ She grits.

The chamber is occasionally used for training, but it’s mostly a tool for punishment. Being slammed into a stone wall by solid ice-beams usually results in broken bones. People try to avoid it wherever necessary.

Rey has never respected the tradition. It would have been more honest if Brakiss had broken them himself.

They depart for their own rooms. She’s deep inside her fantasy of shoving a metal pipe through Brakiss’s throat when she closes her door.

Something catches her eye. It’s a circular object, on her bed.

Rey approaches, moonlight casting through the window. It shines on the object. She picks it up and her fingers thrum, as if she can feel the last person who touched it.

It’s a whole tub of bacta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sigh) by Unloved
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
> 
> i'd let rey stab me


	3. is this real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️Lightsaber duel, no threat of death and mention of bl*wjobs

Rain pounds the gray stone. The night is lit by flashes of red, orange and purple. Lightsabers clash, sparks fly.

On the training ground, multiple pairs of students spar with each other. Rey blocks an attack from her duelling partner, Miko.

He parries and attacks again. She wields her double-bladed lightsaber. In a flash of purple, it unhinges and swings into a saberstaff.

She twirls it effortlessly and strikes at him. His saber takes the hit and he goes down.

‘You’re out, Reglia.’ Katarn shouts.

Miko pushes up and storms off. Rey rolls her saberstaff in her wrist.

She’s been armed her whole life; walked with a quarterstaff for as long as she can remember. When she forged her own saber, she knew how it should feel, how it should move.

A body takes Miko’s place. Rey starts and frowns.

It’s the statue. The Master of the Knights of Ren. He stalks her in a circle.

The rain crashes around them. Rey’s multi-layered binds are soaked. Her hair sticks to her face and she exhales through the barrage.

Ren’s unaffected; his reinforced uniform, leather gloves and metal helmet taking the brunt of the weather.

He ignites his red crossguard saber. It emits three lasers, a primary blade and two raw quillons. She knows the kyber crystal had to have been split for this formation, but the laser doesn’t crackle the way it should. She’s curious.

He lifts his saber. She swings. He counters easily and pushes her away. They stalk.

A familiar sensation creeps over her. She rolls her shoulders. The force wraps its long fluid tendrils around them.

She attacks again, hammering with multiple intricate swings of her saberstaff. He blocks every one with careful, controlled strikes.

Rey stumbles, breathless. He tilts his head, curious. Then he attacks, hitting just inches from her feet.

She soars up and over, guided by the force and lands deftly in a crouch. He charges at her and their blades meet, hissing in the rain.

Their faces separated by red and purple, she glowers at him. It’s anger and power, and something else she can’t name yet.

Rey breaks free and they spar violently, moving into the grounds and dispersing the other training partners, who stop to watch them.

It’s a beautiful dance, the way her saberstaff swings and swipes, jumping from one hand to the other as she turns and parries.

Ren strikes viciously and takes her to the ground. Her saberstaff rolls from her hand. She pants in the rain as he levels his saber at her face, inches away.

The heat from the blade sizzles her skin. She bares her teeth, as if goading him to do it.

Then, he shuts his saber off and reaches out a hand.

Rey takes it and he pulls her up.

As he turns away, she commands her staff through the rain and it flies into her hand. In one quick motion, she ignites and swings at his back.

He blocks it so fast she didn’t even see it completely. They remain intertwined with their blades.

‘Scavenger. You’re done.’ Asajj shouts.

Rey steps back. Her saber goes out. Ren does the same.

She wonders if he felt it too. The way the force had flowed through them, around them, _because_ of them.

She walks off the training grounds, passing Asajj and Katarn on her way.

‘Can I be dismissed?’ Rey asks.

Asajj signals for Rey to approach. ‘Who taught you Juyo?’

Rey frowns. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘Your technique.’ Asajj asserts. ‘It’s a combat style. We don’t teach it here.’

‘It was just instinct.’ Rey says.

The sky rumbles above them, the three moons hidden from sight.

Asajj levels at her, like she doesn’t believe the answer, but dismisses her.

Rey looks over her shoulder. Through the sparks of duelling blades, she sees Ren’s figure, disappearing into the shadows.

It’s Katarn who catches her. He shouts over, ‘You healed fast.’

It sounds like an accusation. She blinks through blurred wet vision and wheels to depart.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The ziggurat is a massive rectangular structure, built from brick and naturally occurring tar, and formed of terraced steps in receding levels. It towers high with a flat sun-baked roof, though not as high as the surrounding temple crowns.

It’s where the majority of lessons take place, but the structure’s so big and complex that Rey hasn’t toured its full body. Inside, narrow hallways split into different directions, which run into adjunct spaces and doors leading to other rooms. She thinks it’s a sprawling mess.

Rey follows Sab to the ceremonial hall, where Brakiss likes to stand in front of the hundred or so students and echo strange sentiments and weird anecdotes that are supposed to have a singular thread in common, but always, without fail, fall short of coherency.

The students pile into the hall and take seats in the podium. Rey sees Brakiss approach them.

‘The code.’ Brakiss commands, his voice amplified by a projector on his collar jacket.

In unison, the students recite:

‘We are Light. We are Dark. We are Shadow. We are Gray.’

‘Blah, blah, blah.’ Rey mumbles, bored.

Sab glances from her peripheral.

‘Structure creates harmony, creates balance,’ Brakiss continues. His voice reverberates around the halls, fills the space with a trailing echo.

‘Structure channels the Force, like electricity through a cable. Structure comes from discipline. I have to say, in all my years of running this school, I’ve _never_ seen such undisciplined miscreants—’

Rey slumps into her seat.

‘—and it’s time I rectify this.’

The students take a collective breath, Rey feels the trepidation.

‘Starting this week, The Knights of Ren will run you through discipline exercises, on a rotating basis. They will break you down, and from the ashes, you shall rise, worthy of this school.’

Brakiss continues his speech.

Rey blows out a hot breath, her tongue clicks. ‘When do you think he last got his dick sucked?’

Sab throws an incredulous look. ‘As if I needed that mental picture in my head.’

Rey continues quietly, ‘It feels like he’s riding us when he wants to be riding something else.’

Sab grimaces. ‘For the sake for humanity, and whoever ends up in that unfavourable position, I hope no one.’

‘I reckon he’s into men.’ Rey concludes. ‘He hates women.’

‘He hates you.’ Sab levels, followed by, ‘You think he hates you cause you’re a woman?’

Rey feels her spine straighten. Sure, she’s a woman, technically. But she’s an animal first. An apex predator.

‘He respects Asajj.’ Sab counters.

‘Everyone respects Asajj.’ Rey says. ‘If you didn’t, you’d be dead.’

_That._ That’s what Rey wants.

‘When was the last time you got your dick sucked?’

Rey smiles. ‘Why, are you offering?’

Sab stifles a laugh.

A student in the row in front of them shoots an annoyed look over his shoulder.

Rey sneers at him, thinks about ramming a piece of steel into one ear and out through the other. Can’t complain about noise if he can’t hear.

Eventually, the lecture ends and they disperse.

‘Scavenger.’ Brakiss bellows. ‘Stay behind.’

Sab gives her a look, almost amusement. Rey approaches him as the students pile out of the grand hall.

Brakiss gives her an examination with his eyes. ‘How are your injuries?’

‘Almost healed, Master.’ Rey says.

‘That was quick.’

‘I must be a quick healer, Master.’

‘Yes, you must be.’

Rey doesn’t back down, holds her stare.

‘Ren’s requested to train you.’ He says, ‘Privately.’

Rey takes this in. She’s not necessarily surprised, but she’s also not sure what her reaction should be.

‘He made quite the argument for it,’ and he says this like another accusation. ‘I decided that if he made the mistake of seeing something worth _polishing_ , then why not let him waste his time?’

Rey wonders if his veins would throb less if he just grew a spine and said exactly what he meant.

Rey nods, diligently. ‘Well. I hope to be worthy of such tutorage.’

Brakiss sneers. He looks at her like she is a speck of dirt.

Rey remains steadfast in her earnest expression. The revenge that is postponed is not forgotten.

‘Dismissed.’ He says.

‘Thank you, Master.’ She says and departs.

She finds Sab standing outside the ziggurat.

‘I wanted to make sure he didn’t kill you and bury you somewhere in the jungle.’

Rey finds this hilarious, for some reason. ‘Careful, Sab. It looks like you’re concerned about my wellbeing.’

‘It’s more of a tactical reason.’ Sab says, and they start walking. ‘If this planet gets attacked, you’re the one I’d bet money on surviving.’

Rey considers this. She agrees heartily.

‘What did Brat-kiss want?’

‘To gloat that I didn’t get any bacta for my ribs.’

Sab glances at Rey’s abdomen. ‘Yeah. You’ve healed quick though.’

Rey’s going to charge the next person who tells her that.

They walk back to the training grounds in amicable silence.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

He hits her with the force, a pulse that travels across the distance. She counters with her hand and blocks it. An invisible wall ripples.

‘Quicker.’ He says, and attacks again.

Rey counters, and this time sends the ripple back. He blocks it.

She rolls her shoulders. A sensation is trying to crawl inside her spine.

They’ve barely spoken since their descent into the jungle. He’s removed his mask and gloves, like last time, except now he’s wearing less fabric. She can almost see how defined he is beneath.

Rey exhales. He paces the ground, watching her.

‘You’re strong in the force.’ He says.

_I’m strong in everything,_ Rey thinks.

Ren’s mouth curves, like he heard her. She realises he did.

It’s an unsettling feeling, that he might know more about the Force than she does, that he might know how to control it better – this _thing_ between them. She’s only ever heard what he wants her to hear.

‘Tell me about Jakku.’

There’s no compulsion, but it feels like a command anyway.

‘There’s nothing to tell.’

He sends a ripple her way. She blocks it.

‘Sure, there is. Tell me about your droid friend.’

Rey glares. _That_ had been a private memory he wasn’t supposed to see. The request catches her off-guard and she rolls back with his next force blast.

‘He was stolen and sold for parts, wasn’t he?’

She staggers up, deflects another hit. Her blood boils.

In that moment, she wants to kill him, or fuck him, it’s the same thing.

‘Lean into it.’ He whispers. ‘ _That,_ that rage. Lean into it. But don’t let it consume you, distract you. Use it. It’s there to guide you.’

Rey faces him. He could be considered kind of angelic, if he didn’t hold himself like a demon, a primed killing machine.

She raises her hand and behind her, a barrage of broken branches launch in his direction. They hit an invisible barrier around him and drop.

He almost smiles. ‘Take a breath.’

Rey doesn’t want to admit she needs one, but she does.

‘Is that why you asked to train me, because I’m strong in the force?’

Ren seems to find this amusing. ‘I didn’t ask.’

She frowns, ‘Brakiss said—’

‘I didn’t ask.’ He levels again.

Rey realises. It wasn’t a request. He didn’t give Brakiss an option to refuse. She wishes she could have been there. His veins must have _popped_.

‘You could’ve asked me.’ She says, and it’s a strange revelation she didn’t even know she had inside her. Since when did she care? Men do what they want. She usually guts them for it. The natural order of life.

‘You would have said no?’ He counters, amused again.

She considers.

She’s usually honest with herself, about her wants and desires. She only bends her will when she has to. She calls Brakiss _Master_ only because it benefits her. She pretends to show him deference, so she can continue her education, so she can defect after graduation and kill for hire.

Brakiss will be the first one on her hit list. She’ll kill him just for fun. But she _is_ playing the long game. There’s protocol there; she knows how to act to get what she wants.

There’s no protocol for Ren. She’s unsure. It’s infuriating.

The next question is not one she’s expecting.

‘Do you get the chamber often?’

‘Whenever Brakiss feels threatened.’ She says.

‘He is threatened by you.’

‘He should be.’

He hums, then says, ‘He has a weak sternum.’

She frowns, then considers. ‘Yeah?’

‘When he served the Empire back in the day, he took a blast to the chest. Has artificial organs. He wears a steel bolt around his chest. Still, one hit and he’d go down.’

She bites her lip. ‘Interesting.’

They level at each other. The moment stretches.

‘What happened when we duelled last night?’ She asks, because it feels like he’s more inclined to answer truthfully now.

‘You lost.’

‘I did not. Asajj intervened.’

‘We can have a rematch then.’ He turns away.

‘The Force,’ She follows him. ‘You must have felt it. What was that?’

He stops and she stops too.

‘Balance,’ is all he says.

She turns away.

‘Do you want me to train you?’ He asks suddenly. The baritone of his voice thrills her.

She faces him. ‘Now you’re asking?’

Again, why the fuck does it matter? She _shouldn’t_ care.

‘I’m asking. Do you?’

It’s not even something she has to debate.

‘Yes.’

‘Okay. We’re done for today. Tomorrow, the temple, at noon.’ He picks up his helmet and slides it onto his head. Then his gloves.

Just before he leaves, she says, ‘Thanks for the bacta,’ and because she _needs_ to reclaim some kind of equal footing, follows with:

‘But if you ever break into my room again, I’ll gut you.’

His helmet bores at her. Then he departs.

There. That’s protocol.

At the very least, it’s something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is This Real? by Lisahall (this song 🤤)
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
> 
> ren has a bacta kink


	4. we're always gonna be contaminated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sexual content: all scenes consensual  
> ⚠️ Graphic descriptions of Rey masturbating through the use of a machine (not a sentient droid) including penetration  
> ⚠️ Graphic descriptions of rough sex, bruises and degrading names (c*msl*t, sl*t)  
> ⚠️ Graphic descriptions of Rey fantasising about consensual scenarios of non-consent
> 
> ↓ smUt now ↓

She sighs.

‘Be patient.’ He says.

Rey knows all about being patient.

She stares at the black and white circular pieces set on the matching chequered board.

They’re sitting in the temple, on the ground opposite each other, separated by the game.

He’s deep in thought, hands on his knees. After what feels like forever, he moves a white piece to a black square.

Rey feels indignation for his piece; twenty minutes to move _two_ spaces. She surveys her own side.

‘Diagonally, remember.’ He says.

She moves a black piece three spaces. She’s more than halfway to his side of the board.

He moves a white piece over a nearby black one, and collects it, setting it on the ground beside a handful of other black pieces.

_Collateral damage_ , she thinks. She’s still almost at his side.

‘You’re sacrificing a lot of your pieces.’ He observes.

Rey looks at him. ‘If I reach the last row of your board, I win.’

‘Do you?’

‘Yes _._ ’

‘You’ll have three pieces left by then. And I’ll still have more than half my board.’

She frowns. ‘So? All I need is one to win.’

‘What about after?’ He asks.

‘After what?’

‘My pieces will regroup and attack your side. They’ll destroy you. You won’t have enough to defend yourself.’

‘Unless these pieces are sentient, that’s not going to happen. It’s a board game.’

‘It’s not.’ He assures her, steadfast. ‘This is strategy.’

‘The goal of this _game_ is to cross to your opponent’s side and win.’ She counters.

He speaks slowly, low. ‘ _Everything_ in life is preparation for something else. Something bigger.’

He gestures to the board. ‘If these pieces were sentient, you’d conquer me for less than five minutes before my soldiers overpowered yours.’

‘You didn’t make it clear we were playing for life and death.’

‘I didn’t think I had to tell _you_ that.’

Rey keeps her anger inside, barely.

‘If this were real life,’ He continues. ‘You’d win this quick, inconsequential battle and ultimately lose the war.’

‘At this point I’d rather win for five minutes than not win at all.’ She says.

He does something with his mouth that almost looks like a laugh. ‘That’s because you don’t have any other options now. You’ve limited yourself.’

He continues in one even tone, ‘War is about being able to take hits, and doing it in such a way that it’s not fatal.’

Rey exhales. She _knows_ how to take hits.

He still doesn’t relent. ‘To truly win this game, you need to cross your opponent’s side and _still_ have more pieces than them. That requires strategy. I take twenty minutes to make a crucial move, you take twenty seconds.’

‘Then I yield.’ Rey says, her tone acidic.

‘No, you don’t. You’ll play to the end and enjoy your five-minute victory.’

She levels at him.

He sits, solid like a tree, and observes her.

The friction feels strangling, suffocating.

For the first time in as long as she can remember, she concedes, and returns to the game.

In five moves, she predictably takes his side of the board.

And as he meant it to, it’s also the first time she’s won and felt it like a loss.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

She swings the metal pole again and again, hitting the pile of sandbags. Some of them burst and sand spills out, but she continues the barrage. After tiring herself out, and releasing a fraction of the tension she’s held all day, she relents and leans against the pole to regain her breath.

‘Training didn’t go well, then?’

Rey wipes sweat from her brow, and turns to see Sab approach.

‘I'm fine.’ She says, then, ‘What have I missed?’

‘Dolph was talking shit, as per.’ Sab replies. ‘He doesn’t understand why Ren wants to train you and not him.’

‘Doesn’t he?’ Rey smiles. ‘He must know I’m better than him.’

Sab laughs. ‘You know Dolph’s becoming more and more a mini Brat-kiss. Apparently, he’s getting private tutoring from him.’

‘Hope they kill each other.’ Rey says. She lifts the metal pole and walks it back to the storage unit.

‘Brat-kiss told him things about the Knights, apparently.’ Sab continues.

‘Yeah?’ Rey asks, distracted. She sets the pole horizontally on two hooks.

‘The Knights of Ren used to work for hire. They killed vagrants and outlaws, and diplomats.’

‘I see.’ Rey wipes her hands of dust and grime.

‘Some people think they have ties to the dark side, that they’re only here to recruit people to the dark side.’

‘Brakiss thinks that?’

‘I don’t know, it came from Dolph. Not really that reliable.’

‘Yeah.’ Rey agrees.

‘And, apparently, Ren was responsible for the Mustafar Massacre. Well him and the Knights.’

Rey pays attention now.

Mustafar, a volcanic wasteland, a planet rich in dark side energy and Sith traditions. The Massacre, as the stories go, occurred around a decade or so earlier.

Many years after the Empire surrendered to the New Republic, a group of cultists stayed behind on Mustafar to guard the remains of Vader’s fortress. It was supposed to hold unimaginable Sith secrets and power.

Until a group of unknown assassins invaded the land and killed the cultists. The stories were always unclear whether the assassins found what they were looking for.

‘Interesting.’ Rey murmurs.

‘I think the question is, why are guns for hire teaching us?’ Sab asks. ‘It’s a bit of stepdown.’

Rey considers this as night approaches. They depart the training ground and head for the billet.

‘Have you seen the others, out of their helmets?’ Rey asks.

‘No. They speak with modulators. Robots, basically. It’s kind of comical.’ Then, ‘Why? Have you?’

Rey shakes her head. ‘No. Ren likes his helmet.’

It’s a strange thing to lie about, but it feels as if she should keep his face a secret.

Almost as if, if no one sees him, no one can see her either.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Rey’s stomach caves into her ribs. She opens her mouth, desperate to scream, but the sound stays trapped inside.

She’s naked, drenched in sweat, fists in the bedsheets. Her body is _shaking_.

The probe, a non-sentient mechanical ball of mismatched parts and wires, thrusts its silicone arm in and out of her wet, hot cunt.

She throws her head back, hisses. Her vision blurs. She _aches_.

‘—fas _ter_.’ She bites out.

The probe arm speeds up, and she can hear the sounds of her own body, the way her ass smacks into the metal ball and the _slick_ of the arm as it enters and exits her.

‘Oh _god_.’

Her breaths escape in quick, short gasps. Her nipples are so tight it’s painful.

‘—stimulate—’

A smaller metal arm of the probe pops out, with silicone spikes attached at the end. It slides into her clit and rotates.

Rey almost loses her mind. A wave of pleasure explodes, and she shakes with the climax.

She can’t help it – she screams from the back of her throat, and _prays_ that no one comes to investigate.

The silicone arm continues to pound into her. This is her fourth orgasm. She’s been at it all night, and she still doesn’t feel sated.

‘Hold me.’ She commands the machine.

Two bigger arms pop out from the probe's body and grip her hips. It's metal fingers dig into her flesh and it hurts; she built it that way.

The probe elevates itself, lifting her hips off the bed ever so slightly. With this leverage over her, it begins to thrust her body back and forth, keeping itself still.

The metal cuts into her sweaty, sliding flesh. She’ll bruise, maybe even bleed.

Rey gives herself to the machine. Imagines herself helpless, at the machine's mercy. She’s an innocent farm girl, and this mad, horny thing has her in its grip.

Oh, she’s protesting. She’s so innocent. _No, please. I’ve never been fucked before. I’ve never seen one of those before, I don’t even know where that goes—_

_I’ll show you where it goes,_ it will say.

Or maybe he’s an alien withholding information she needs. She finds him in a bar on Canto Bight, and he says, _you really want the information? Then get on your knees, slut._

She has to suck his big alien cock in front of everyone. Strangers will slap her ass and rub her cunt while she sucks him. She wishes then desperately she’d given the machine a voice.

The moment she lets the fantasy slip into an actual person, it feels like _him_. Through wet, blurred vision she almost sees him, towering above her. She balls sheets into her mouth.

Dark eyes, sunken cheeks, swollen lips, bearing down on her. Holding her slender hips with his massive, massive hands, so _tight_ his thumbs press into her ribs. He sucks the inside of her thighs.

‘This is mine.’ He growls, and slaps her cunt.

He fucks her mercilessly, grunting to the hilt, pulling himself out slowly, his thick cock dragging out of her cunt, and then thrusting back in and fucking her down into her marrow.

Maybe he’s wearing his helmet, and telling her, _you’re my little cumslut_ in that modulator voice.

‘Ren.’ She pants.

_Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren._

She’s on fire. Something shatters inside her. It’s not just an orgasm, although that does happen, which is just as painful as it is euphoric.

But something else happens as well. A wave ripples through the room, through _her_. Her body shakes, her room shakes as well and some books on the desk fall.

‘Stop.’ She tells the probe, ‘Power down.’

The ball retracts itself from her, releases her hips and folds all its arms back into itself.

Rey sprawls out. She pants, exhausted and blissful. The aftershocks of the orgasm run up and down her legs.

When she comes back to herself, she runs a hand over her wet body and traces the marks the metal fingers have left on her hips.

She can’t think about much else, and falls asleep in that position.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

‘Rey.’

Rey sees Asajj turn a corner in the maze.

Of _all_ the places she thought no one would bother her - but Asajj has an uncanny ability to find whoever it is she’s looking for at any given moment.

Then she realises it’s the first time Asajj has called her _Rey_. They call her scavenger because she doesn’t have a family name. She thinks Brakiss really wants to call her _rat_.

‘You’re taking a recess in this shithole?’ Asajj asks.

‘It’s empty.’ Rey says pointedly. The implication, _or it was._

‘I wanted to check in.’ Asajj replies. They start walking together.

‘About my ribs?’

‘No. Although you—’

‘It’s a miracle, I know.’

Asajj stops her. ‘Brakiss has never liked you.’

‘Thanks.’

‘But I like you.’ She continues, words uncharacteristic, although her tone and expression show no hint of sentimentality. ‘I want you to be careful.’

‘Careful?’ Rey asks.

‘With Ren.’ Asajj states. ‘And with Brakiss. If anything happens, you can tell me.’

Rey observes Asajj’s deference. It’s strange, new ground for them both.

‘I can handle myself.’ Rey says.

‘I know.’ Asajj levels back. ‘That doesn’t make you invincible.’

Asajj turns to leave, and Rey says, ‘What makes you think they’re not in danger?’

Asajj throws a look over her shoulder before she disappears. ‘I’m sure they are. But I don’t like _them_.’

Rey finds herself smiling, stupidly.

Then she remembers herself and restarts what was supposed to be her leisure walk.

She wonders if Asajj will go back to calling her scavenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contaminated by BANKS.
> 
> (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
> 
> the fbi agent watching me: 🤯🥴😳😱  
> me: 🤖🍆🤖🤖🍆🤖🤖🍆🤖🤖 u R welcome 😘


	5. oily marks appear on walls

They’re meditating on top of the ziggurat.

Rey feels the breeze pick up. It’s early morning; the sun is just about to rise. The sky glows hazily.

She admires the view with one eye open, then –

‘Close your eyes.’

She sees his closed eyes; is he using the Force? He told her not to. He said she needed to center herself, before she could find ‘inner solace.’

_I need that like a hole in the head,_ Rey had thought. Inner solace hasn’t kept her alive for nineteen years. Sheer will and brutality has.

Rey obeys and returns to blurry darkness. She makes an ‘ _om’_ sound just to annoy him.

After what feels like forever, he speaks:

‘Now ease into the Force.’

Rey exhales and finds the coil inside herself. It straightens slowly.

‘Tell me what you feel.’

She basks in the Force’s warmth, almost sighs. It rolls out in front of her. She walks with ease.

‘Warm.’ She says.

‘Your surroundings, Rey.’

Her stomach clenches when he says _Rey._

She refocuses. ‘The trees, moving in the wind. The roots, plunged deep below. Moisture. Soil. Growth. Decay.’

‘Now imagine you can see it.’

‘With the Force?’

‘Yes.’

‘I could just open my eyes.’

He sighs.

She rolls her neck, eyes still closed.

‘Don’t reach for it. Just allow it to come to you. Open yourself.’

Rey drops into her gut; the Force moves through her. She thinks of herself willing to receive. It’s a strange, unfamiliar feeling. It’s _marvellous,_ but it’s also terrifying.

Images flash into her mind. Greenery. Rain. Dirt. Sun. Sky.

‘Can you see?’ He asks.

Rey nods. She opens herself further and sinks into the earth, feels its _gratitude_. It’s as close to maternal as she’ll ever get.

It wraps around her like a warm blanket. It’s so comfortable. Her rage feels like an echo against an ancient mountain, forgotten.

Rey sees the planet, like she is a bird soaring over the jungles and mountains. She can feel the wind rush through her.

‘That feeling belongs to you.’ His voice sounds so far away. ‘You can access it whenever you want.’

It’s the purest form of truth and peace she’s ever known. It’s pure, raw _life_.

She feels _seen_.

Then, after a long blissful moment, she hears, ‘Now ease back out.’

She doesn’t want to, but she softly untangles herself from the feeling and opens her eyes. They’re filled with tears. She’s almost furious again, but the effects of the moment linger behind, diluting her rage. She hasn’t cried in ten years, and especially not in front of another living soul.

‘How did that feel?’ He asks.

She swallows, blinks back tears. They are _not_ going to fall in front of him.

The moment is calm. They sit across from one another, legs crossed. He observes her, and she stares at a spot behind his shoulder on the roof.

‘Let’s take a break.’ He says.

Rey stands, and exhales. She paces the roof, looking over the site.

‘Here.’ He offers.

She turns to see him holding out a metal canister. She accepts it and unscrews the cap.

He watches her as she throws the water back.

She hands it back to him, their fingers meet. She thinks, _massive, massive hands._

Then she remembers he could have heard her. If he did, she can’t tell. She watches his throat move as he takes a swig.

‘That was different.’ She says finally.

‘The Force is as peaceful as it is violent. One cannot exist without the other. Similarly, you can only fly as high as you are grounded. Once you develop an unshakable foundation, your potential will be limitless.’

His voice is rough, like he didn’t just drink water. Like he hasn’t slept well. Like he’s just woken up.

‘I’ve never felt that before.’ She says.

He nods, sets the canister down, and follows her eyeline to the site below.

‘How long have you been here?’ He asks.

She wishes he’d stop asking questions he already knew the answer to.

‘A year or so.’ She replies.

‘Was that a difficult adjustment?’

Rey considers telling him the truth. _I’ve only ever known the desert. Here, there’s a set of unspoken social rules that everyone seems to know except me. I’m suddenly accountable. I’ve almost died a hundred times. I’ve killed more than I can remember. Sometimes I did it just for fun._

She doesn’t say that, but she also doesn’t lie either.

‘I guess it was.’

He hums. ‘I used to hate it here, too.’

Rey frowns. ‘You went here?’

‘I was fifteen. I left my uncle’s camp, the Jedi.’ The last words roll from his tongue like acid. ‘And I came here. It was better, but it never felt like home.’

She knows little about the Jedi. Brakiss thinks they’re scum because they only worship the Light. He doesn’t seem to hold the same venom for the Dark side, however.

‘You’re not Gray, though.’ Rey says.

‘Only in spirit. No, I left before graduation, with a handful of students.’

‘The Knights of Ren.’

‘We didn’t create the order.’ He continues. ‘A set of Knights already existed. In order to become the next, you have to kill your counterpart. And we did.’

Rey wonders how he looked when he did it. If he was violent and chaotic. If he was precise and sharp.

‘So, you are assassins?’ She asks eventually.

‘The generation before us were. We’re not.’

‘And now you’re here, teaching future Grays.’ She says it like it doesn’t make any sense in the galaxy. It doesn’t.

‘We’re paying a debt owed.’ He answers. ‘But we also benefit too.’

She doesn’t ask what the benefit is. He turns to look in the opposite direction and stretches his arms.

She watches his back flex, his arms protrude. It’s another quiet moment of realising just how _big_ he is.

‘Is it true The Knights of Ren are responsible for the Mustafar Massacre?’ She asks.

He pivots slightly to respond. His expression never changes, though something in his eyes flicker. ‘Would you believe me if I said no?’

‘Not really.’ She answers coyly, noticing how he shifts towards her when she pouts. Teasing him. His eyes darken.

She returns his open stare. She considers herself lucky she’s never had to use her sexuality to survive. Her fists and teeth and staff have done it for her. Her desires, her lust; they belong only to her.

‘Why are you here?’ He asks.

Rey widens into a smile. ‘The scouts found me on—’

‘Why are you here?’

‘I wanted to learn.’

‘How to kill?’

‘I know how to kill.’ She says. ‘But I wasn’t raised in civil society like everyone else. I didn’t know how things were done. I grew up feral, as they say.’

‘You’re a quick learner.’ He tells her, ‘You’ve learned more in one year than some people have in five.’

Rey realises it’s nice to have her ability acknowledged. He’s done that before, when he said _you’re strong in the force._ She’s always known it, but she’s never heard it from someone else.

‘Are you Gray, though?’ He continues, and he sounds like he’s not really talking to her.

‘Of course.’

His stare is penetrating. She finds herself turning away, for no other reason than to exhale in private.

She hears him approach. Her eyes drift to her side, as if she might see him bleed around her.

‘What does Gray mean to you?’

He’s close, but he’s not breathing on her neck, though she wishes he would.

Rey thinks back to all of Brakiss’s boring lectures. She says, ‘Light and Dark. Shadow.’

He laughs, and it’s the first time she’s heard that. A soft, low rumble from his belly.

She spins, because she _cannot_ miss that.

He’s already stepping away. His entire face changes when he smiles, becomes less cable shell and more cable sparks.

He hums, nods. The smile fades. ‘I can’t decide if your lack of understanding is the work of Brakiss or you.’

‘I’m sure you’ll tell me.’

Ren cocks his head. He walks back to their original position and settles on the roof, legs crossed.

She sits opposite him, closer than before. If he notices, he doesn’t react.

‘Close your eyes.’ He commands.

Rey obeys. She feels the first light of sun break through the clouds and fall onto her face.

‘Being Gray, not this school bullshit, but actually being Gray, is as natural to you and I as the Force is to existing. It’s who we are.’

She thinks they might finally talk about their strange Force connection, but he veers left.

‘It’s the only rule there is. Chaos.’

She feels something crawl into her spine.

‘The Knights of Ren serve only themselves. They don’t think about right and wrong, good and evil, it’s arbitrary. The Ren just _is._ It exists without belief, faith. It kills without morality, regret.’

She exhales softly. ‘What you call chaos, I call violence.’

‘Same thing. It’s the moment a weaker animal is ripped to shreds by something bigger. It’s also the moment a mother gives birth, a euphoric moment of release and surrender. That’s what life and death have in common.’

She listens to the deep baritone of his voice, feeling it like a caress.

‘And the Force is the energy between all things, it binds everything together, and in the same breath, it rips it apart. It’s a never-ending dance. Light and dark – there’s no such thing. These are just man-made principles. The arrogance of men. They cannot tame something as raw and as powerful as you or I. It’s not in our nature.’

She feels inexplicably understood.

He continues. ‘It’s not even Gray. It’s not a mixture of two different things. It’s one whole thing, ever fluctuating and changing, morphing between destruction and creation at the same time. Life and death chase each other, and the cycle continues. We call it The Way.’

‘And once you accept that you can be both the prey, and the predator, you will be one with The Way.’

Rey opens her eyes, finds him boring at her.

‘I will never be prey.’ She says, her voice dry.

‘It is not weak to embrace all of yourself.’ He says. ‘It makes you strong. You can fortify yourself, but you must have a solid foundation first. Before you go into battle, you have to take stock of your inventory. You have to know where your strengths lie, what your weaknesses are. Or you will be overcome by something bigger.’

She battles an urge to squirm, shiver. The idea that she could be weak is _unimaginable_.

‘Tell me.’ He says, a command both soft and forceful at the same time.

‘If I thought for one second that I wouldn’t survive growing up, then I wouldn’t have.’ She says in one long, hot breath.

‘But you took precautions, yes? Walked one path instead of another? Hid in abandoned ships when you heard loud noises? Think of it as self-preservation, not weakness.’

This is something she can work with. Her shoulders settle. He observes her release.

‘When you leave survival mode, you will thrive.’ He says, assuring.

Rey wonders what that might look like. Not looking over her shoulder every minute. Not clutching her saber out of instinct. Not pushing blocks of bricks against her door at night, out of sheer habit.

‘Tell me something.’ She says.

He waits for her to ask.

‘That _feeling_ that connects us, in the Force, what is that? I’ve never felt that before, with anyone.’

Ren’s eyes flicker away from her. She knows she won’t get the answer she seeks.

‘I’m not sure, yet.’ He says finally.

She doesn’t know whether to believe him.

Dawn arrives and Ren stands. ‘We’re done for today. Remember to hydrate. Eat something heavy.’

‘Is that a command?’ She asks, and without even meaning to, the question shifts into something else.

He stops abruptly. She looks up.

He stands over her, face hard and eyes drawn. She’s acutely aware, there’s _so much_ of him. She wants to run her gaze down, but she can’t leave his face.

His eyes hold her there. She feels _rocked._

She could push onto her knees. He could grab her hair. She could close her small mouth around his big, hard cock.

He shifts toward her, just an inch, so minute it’s barely visible. But she feels it.

The whisper explodes into a scream. Her cunt aches. Her nipples harden. _Fuck me_ , she wants to beg. _Make me a mess._

He exhales a long hard breath. Then -

‘Yes.’

‘Yes?’ She breathes.

‘It’s a command.’

He rips his body away, and collects his helmet from the ground. Rey watches him blankly, lost in her own desire.

As soon as he disappears down the winding staircase back into the ziggurat, she collapses onto her back. Tears of arousal and frustration pool. Her body trembles.

She thinks about fucking herself there, on the roof, on the spot where he’d been, but noises from the site waken to greet the morning, and the day starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap.
> 
> ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀
> 
> idk why it took until chapter 5 for them to build some kind of rapport :): but they smash soooon 😇
> 
> p.s: the way in this story has no relation to Taosim's the way ࿊


	6. in for the kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Implied past ab*se, non-graphic

They’re allowed one day of rest a week.

Rey usually spends it alone. She often reads historical and cultural texts from the ziggurat vault. Or she runs the maze.

On this particular day, she finds herself lazing in the sun with Sab. They had hiked into the jungle and settled on a patch of green, near a river.

It’s warm, bright. Rey has to squint when she doesn’t stay in the shade. Sab walks back and forth on the edge of the river, her ankles submerged in water.

Rey leans back on her elbows, enjoys the gentle breeze. She lounges in separate undergarments that barely cover her breasts and pelvis; her combat binds and trousers strewn beside her.

She catches the end of Sab’s ‘—and he almost crushed Rex’s windpipe.’

Rey blinks. ‘What did Rex do?’

‘He got choked.’

Rey laughs.

‘And he didn’t let Rex go to the med-bay.’

‘Which one is this?’

‘I have no idea. The one with the meat-cleaver. They don’t tell us their names, ever. No one can address them - they probably want it that way.’

Rey nods softly, then asks, ‘Would you fuck one of them?’

Sab laughs, ‘Definitely not.’

‘Really? But the _helmets_ – and that sexy modulator voice. All that metal and leather, and battle weaponry—’

‘I think war turns you on.’

‘Probably.’

Sab jumps forward in the river; splashes Rey’s feet.

‘How’s it going with Ren?’

‘It’s interesting.’ Rey says, shaking her feet of water. ‘I’m not sure what the end goal is, but I am learning _something_.’

Sab nods. She yawns.

Rey rolls her neck, admiring the soft movement of tree branches above. Ever since the meditation session on the ziggurat, she’s looked at nature with a duality she had been missing previously.

She sees the violence, the chaos. She also sees the peace, the serenity. Both are just as true as each other.

At the thought of Ren standing across from her on the roof, she thinks about their conversation. He had attended this school. He had also left the Jedi, his uncle’s school.

‘What do you know about the Jedi?’ She asks suddenly.

Sab pivots, distracted. ‘Old school or new school?’

‘New school.’

‘I know that Luke Skywalker runs it. He was the last Jedi. After they reformed the Republic, he wanted to train others.’

Luke Skywalker. Ren’s uncle.

Rey hums, ‘Luke Skywalker, he rings a bell.’

‘He would. He’s a legend, though not really to us. Brakiss would throw a fit. He hates all Jedi.’

Sab continues, ‘Luke’s father was Darth Vader, you know. Well, the man who became Darth Vader, I don’t know his name.’

Rey averts her gaze to think.

Ren: Luke’s nephew, Darth Vader’s grandson. One from light, one from dark. How fitting he’d end up neither and both.

‘Does Luke have any siblings?’

‘Just a sister. A twin. Leia something. She’s a politician in the senate.’

Rey exhales. Her fingers glide over the grass beneath her. ‘And, does Leia have any children?’

Sab frowns. ‘I think so, at least one son. Can’t remember his first name, but his last name would be Solo - why?'

‘Oh. I found some obscure reference to the Jedi in one of my texts.’

‘Yeah, good luck getting any information out of this lot.’

Rey smiles at the thought. She imagines Brakiss’s head exploding if she dared to ask. She watches Sab’s fingers curl into the river.

‘Have you ever killed anyone?’ Rey asks.

Sab looks at her. It’s not a look that most people might give this strange, revealing question. Sometimes Rey wonders why Sab seems to be the only one who doesn't start at her otherwise socially inappropriate questions.

‘Yes.’ Sab answers eventually.

‘How old were you?’

‘Twelve.’

‘I’m sure they deserved it.’

Sab breaks into a wide, face-lifting smile. ‘He did. And I made it hurt.’

For some strange reason, Rey feels proud.

Sab throws a handful of water over Rey, who starts at the cold sensation. Her undergarments are soaked, water running over her exposed stomach and legs.

Sab laughs from the gut.

Rey glowers at the blonde girl. ‘If I had my saber—’

‘I’d still kick your ass.’

‘Let’s go.’ Rey pushes up. ‘Hand to hand combat.’

Sab rolls her eyes. ‘Go pick a fight with one of those mercenaries.’

‘I’d take them down too.’

‘Come into the water.’

Rey stares, then relents. She pads into the river and the first thing she does is shove Sab backwards.

Sab goes down with a startled scream and sits submerged in the water. ‘You’re an asshole.’

Rey feels vindicated, but not for long. Sab yanks her legs out from under her and she falls back too. Rey shouts in protest, then splashes water towards Sab.

‘Truce.’ Sab holds her hands up.

Rey notices how nice the water is, past the initial cold. She finds herself smiling.

‘Do you think this has a waterfall at the end of it?’ Rey asks.

‘Not sure.’

Rey pushes off the shallow edge of the river and floats onto her back. She stares up at the clear, opaque sky and beating sun.

It’s serene.

She spends the rest of the day in the river, drifting further and further from the bank.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The docking bay towers out of jungle treetops, wrapped in vines and moss. It’s beyond the maze, a massive steel unit overlooking the entire site. It houses the teachers and shuttle ships, and powers the camp.

Even with the growing greenery through metal gaps and crevices, it’s in stark contrast to the rest of the site, which is brick and stone, ruined walls and revered temples and structures.

The students aren’t allowed near it. Rey remembers when an older boy had gotten lost in the maze and jumped the walls. He’d ran deep into the jungle and stumbled upon the docking bay. He was given the chamber once a week for an entire month.

So, it doesn’t make much sense to her that she’s headed towards it, Ren slightly in front of her. It’s humid, which is the natural temperature for the jungle, but there’s something else in the air, an extra charge that thrums under her skin.

When they reach the long metal legs of the docking bay, Ren veers right. Rey follows, and they descend down an established trail, water streaming alongside it.

‘This would be a perfect place to bury someone.’ She says.

Sometimes she wonders what that might feel like. She’s killed plenty, but she’s never buried a body. Returned them back to the earth. Would roots grow? Would flowers bloom?

Ren doesn’t reply.

‘Aren’t you warm in that helmet?’

Silence.

They come to a clearing and Rey sees the sleek black command shuttle. It’s warlike, brutal in design and very shiny, almost metallic. On Ren’s approach, the hangar doors open and he enters.

Rey follows in and the doors close behind her. Lights spark up at their presence, and Ren’s already at the end of walkway, pressing a code into the wall.

Another door slides open and he disappears through it. Rey hesitates, and she’s not sure why.

After a long moment, she proceeds down the walkway and through the door. It’s more black: walls, ceiling and floor completely identical in design and material.

‘Rey.’ His voice echoes.

She follows the sound and ends up in the cockpit, which is also black, spacious and covered in panelled decks.

Ren, sans helmet, checks a nearby monitor.

Rey observes the room. She drifts over to the pilot chairs and runs her fingers over the leather.

She can see herself here, flying the ship over the planet and through the void of space.

‘You’ve flown before?’ He asks.

‘Once.’ She says. ‘I spent my free time hot-wiring abandoned ships.’

Her lips curl around the words _free time._ As if she had a normal life, as if she did anything other than scavenging, trading for portion packs, and avoiding getting killed, kidnapped or sold.

She turns to look at him. He’s removed his jacket.

He looks almost leisurely, in black trousers and a loose shirt that exposes his arms. It’s strange, to see so much pale skin, after weeks of him being covered in thick combat gear. Still, he doesn’t look relaxed, for the tension in his shoulders and staunch posture.

‘Take it.’ He says, eyeing the chair. Except, as soon as he says this, the air twists into something else.

‘Where should I take it?’ She asks softly.

She thinks his jaw has moved, but his face remains completely still. He says nothing, breathing hard.

Rey hums, leans against the leather chair. Her eyes consume him; the length and width, the sheer mass of his person. His throat. His hands. The size of his thighs. She’s easily and ridiculously wet.

‘Will you show me?’ She asks, and she looks at him like a lost kitten, alone in the woods.

They’re dancing on the edge of something unspoken, yet so ingrained in their connection that it doesn’t need to be said.

She feels set alight as his eyes drag up and down her body. To her tight waist and slender hips and long legs. To the nape of her neck, her throat.

‘Do you do that often?’ He asks, voice low and deep.

‘Do what?’ She blinks innocently, but she _knows._

‘Use your sex as a weapon. You don’t have to do that with me.’

She finds this highly amusing. This grown man is going to lecture her about her own sexuality.

‘I do what I want.’ She corrects him. Then, ‘Don’t act like you don’t want to fuck me into the earth.’

To his credit, he has an exceptional poker face.

‘Would you like that?’ He asks, sincere.

‘Yes.’

He considers her answer, his fingers just brushing the top of the counter where he stands. The space between them stretches out.

‘How would you like it?’ He continues.

Rey's immediately overcome with filthy, heady thoughts. She’s aching for him, wet and sore, and her nipples strain against her binds.

‘From behind, on my hands and knees.’

His lips part, and she thinks he might be imagining what she'd look like, behind his heavy eyes.

‘What else?’ He asks softly.

‘I'd want you to pull my hair, and fuck my face. And grab me and push me up against the wall, and make me beg for it.’ Her voice wavers and her eyes pool with tears of arousal.

Ren exhales unevenly. His chest rises and falls.

‘Have you been with others?’ He asks, like this is a very important question. What she thinks he means is, _I won't be your first._

Rey nods, coming back to herself. ‘Have you?’

‘Yes.’

‘I think about sucking you off all the time.’ She whispers, almost overlapping his answer. Her voice is lost in the warm, dense cockpit. She swears it already smells like sex.

He emits a noise, something between a sigh and a grunt.

‘I have to be careful, Rey.’

‘Why?’ God, it's a desperate whine.

‘I’m training you. I can’t do anything that would jeopardise that.’

_Oh._ It might be the first time in her life that a man has stopped to consider if his actions will negatively impact her.

‘You think I’ll feel taken advantage of?’

‘I don’t know what you’ll feel.’ He says, steady in delivery.

She laughs, barely. ‘You don’t have any power over me, Ren. I might want you to fuck me, but I’m always in control. And I could kill you, if I wanted to.’

Ren smiles, and she's struck by how warm he looks. He's still a statue, with marble for skin, but beneath that, full of flesh and blood, and desire.

To Rey, this is her idea of foreplay. There are only two types of people in the world: people she wants to fuck, and people she wants to kill.

‘Do you think about it?’ She asks.

He nods, eyes dark.

She hums softly. ‘Nobody has to know.’

Then, as if she’s dreaming, as if his voice is floating as particles in the air, hitting against one another and splitting apart again, he says:

‘Come here.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In for the kill (skream remix) by La Roux
> 
> ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀
> 
> my kink is two characters discussing sex with each other before they have sex


	7. i wanna do real bad things with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Explicit sexual content: see tags

She’s aware—the sounds she makes around his cock are _filthy_. She’s on her knees, jaw sore with the fullness of him; eyes wide and pleading.

He holds one of her buns, moving her head back and forth. They’re in his bedroom, and the top of her chest binds are unwrapped, breasts exposed.

Ren grunts, bears down on her through dark eyes.

Her fantasies don’t do the real thing justice: his cock is bigger than she imagined, thick and bulbous, and alarmingly erect.

It’s godly; the neat, protruding veins down his sturdy shaft, and the curve of his head as it sits just over the edge of his girth. And the natural, dense hair at the top of his sex; she’s never seen a man like him.

Her hands rest on his thighs for support as he fucks her mouth. She gags, and he pulls out, her mouth and chin sticky and wet with salvia and him.

He caresses her wet cheek. ‘Are you okay?’

She looks up at him through dazed eyes and nods. His thumb slips into her mouth and she sucks, never breaking eye contact.

She stimulates his shaft with one hand, barely enclosing it, and uses the other to gently rub the tip. He starts with the sensation.

Ren wraps his hand around hers on his cock and stops her.

‘On the bed.’ He tells her.

Rey thrums with anticipation. She crawls over and climbs up. He stalks towards her.

All she can see is his erection. She wants him to fill her until she’s leaking.

‘Lie down.’

Rey sprawls back and sucks in a breath. He lowers himself to the floor and drags her hips towards him.

‘I bet you’re soaking.’ He rasps. ‘My little cumslut.’

Rey feels dizzy, thrumming with anticipation. _Yes. Yes. Yes._

He drags her trousers down over the bones of her hips, exposing her wet, swollen mound. He seems fascinated by the slope of her stomach into her pelvis; a natural feminine descent.

‘Fuck.’ He says, staring at her cunt.

He glides his fingers through her coiled dark curls and she gasps.

Rey leans onto her elbows to look at him. Her stomach caves with the thought of him _touching_ her. Her legs shift.

The bottom of her chest binds are still wrapped around her waist, while the top ones are free. And all she can think is _tie me up._

Ren looks at her. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Did you hear that?’ She breathes.

He nods.

Rey licks her lips, then makes a decision. ‘Yeah, my hands.’

Ren ties the loose binds around her wrists and knots them together. Then he throws her arms up above her head. The bottom binds tighten around her waist with the stretch, pinching flesh, and she sees what it does to him.

He drags a coarse hand over her breasts and smooth stomach, until it stops at her pelvis.

‘You smell so good.’ He says, and kisses the inside of her thigh.

Rey squirms. _Taste me._

He smiles against her skin, so _close._ ‘Beg for it.’

‘Please.’ Rey begs. ‘Please taste me.’

Ren blows gently against her cunt, and she arches. He grabs the back of her thighs and lifts her legs up.

His tongue moves tentatively into her wet slit, not quite where she wants, and Rey whimpers.

Then, finally, he buries his full, soft lips into her whole cunt and finds what he’s looking for. He grazes her clit with his teeth, and she jerks, then wails, thin and desperate, when he sucks the bundle of nerves in a very concentrated way, holding her legs in place.

She jerks against his face, sparks and sparks of pleasure pulsing from her clit again and again, and with nowhere to go, she has to lie there and _take it_. It’s enough to make her come, and she cries as her legs shake with the impact.

It’s glorious, a release she feels in every limb, like nerves just falling into each other, fluid and ethereal. He runs his long tongue up and down her slit, savouring her, then continues to lap at her folds as she rides the climax.

‘You taste divine.’ He says, hoarse and distant.

_Take your top off,_ she thinks, knowing he can hear her.

Ren smiles and yanks his top off. She marvels at the _statue_. He’s sculpted, marbled, solid; not defined by muscle, but by mass.

_I want to die on you,_ she thinks incoherently. _Bury me in your chest._

He stands and slides his trousers down. His cock bounces with the movement, still hard.

The sight of him is almost enough to end her. He’s unlike anyone she’s ever seen before. He commands so much space around him.

‘You’re beautiful.’ She tells him suddenly, the thought just ripped from her mouth without even thinking about it.

He stares at her, like he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t and instead just releases a long, hard breath.

‘Are you going to take me?’ She pleads.

‘Are you going to take me?’ He counters, the timber of his voice deep and low.

She nods, her hands still above her head.

‘Good girl.’ He hums.

He steps between her sprawled legs over the edge of the bed, and holds one of them up; fingers squeezing the soft flesh.

Rey feels the head of his cock aligns with her cunt, and she squirms in anticipation. _Yes. Yes. Yes._

He tortures her a little, by sliding the tip over her curls and clit, then says, ‘Take me,’ and pushes in.

The tip glides easily, but she struggles to accommodate his girth; her walls stretching. Small, sharp stings erupt a hiss through her clenched teeth.

He stops and captures her with a soft, calming look. ‘I know you can take me.’

She nods fervently, attempts to shift her hips, adjust the angle, but it doesn’t do much. He slides his thumb over her clit, again and again and again.

She slumps back, whining, as the feeling of pain and pleasure chase each other. And then he pushes forward, and his cock grinds through the tightness.

‘Almost there.’ He tells her, still rubbing her clit.

Then, he thrusts to the hilt, and she feels the press of his balls against her ass. She arches and feels _full_. It’s a blur between bliss and agony; the way he fills her.

His thumb brings her to another climax, a smaller, slightly duller, wave of pleasure that stutters her breath and clenches her walls around him.

‘Yes. Yes. _Yes_.’

He drags out, slowly, watches where they meet, then pounds back in. Her body jerks and she moans.

‘Does that feel good?’ He breathes.

Rey’s certain he knows it does, but she appreciates the gesture. ‘Yes.’ She whispers.

The moment she answers, he grabs her hips and starts fucking her in loud rhythmic motions, slamming them together again and again.

Rey’s entire body shakes; her breasts rippling, bones rattling. She screams in short intermittent bursts, and her tied wrists fall down to her waist.

‘Hold your legs up.’ Ren instructs, voice like gravel.

He grabs her wrists and the binds around her waist, and holds them as leverage to pound into her. He grunts, gasps, pants.

She barely manages to hold her trembling legs up, her heels bouncing against his shoulders. She’s falling into a wet, warm abyss.

‘Rey. You feel so good.’ He says in staggered breaths.

‘Tell me—tell me I’m your slut.’

‘You are.’ He gasps, and grabs her breasts with both hands as his hips snap into her cunt.

‘You are mine—my little cumslut.’

‘Ye—s.’ She agrees fervently, then, ‘Take me from behind.’

He pulls out and flips her over with no care at all. He puts her on her knees, and her tied hands take the front of her weight.

‘Is that okay?’ He asks.

‘Yes.’

He runs a hand over his cock as he admires the view of her firm, round ass and wet cunt. She squirms for him; desperate.

‘My little slut.’ He murmurs, then slides back in. He pushes her shoulders down until the side of her face is pressed into the bed, and pounds into her.

They make the most beautiful, obscene sounds together, the smack of their colliding bodies, the slosh of their wetness, the slap of his hand against her ass.

She squeals, and pleads, ‘Again.’

He runs a smooth hand over the red area, then hits it again. She jerks and makes a garbled noise into the bedsheets.

‘Grab my hair.’ She bites out.

Ren grabs one of her buns, pulls her head up, and uses his other hand to hold the binds around her back. She pushes against him as he fucks her. It’s a different angle; delicious, and thought-destroying.

_Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes._

He’s hitting a spot inside her that expands with every thrust. It’s warm, it bleeds around her cunt, up into her stomach and down into her thighs. It heralds something divine.

She tries to speak but it’s almost impossible. ‘I’m gonna—I’m almost—’

He moves his hand from her hair to her shoulder, and his other clenches her hip. He drives into her with a sense of urgency, a wild abandon, and grunts through the motions.

Rey loses herself and comes apart. She trembles as pleasure explodes across her entire body and screams into the bed.

‘My good little cumslut.’ Ren rasps. He continues to fuck her relentlessly and mutters things she can’t make out. Broken, incoherent words.

‘Can I come in you?’ He sounds _ruined._ ‘Do you have the chip?’

Rey whines, finds it difficult to speak.

‘Rey.’ He snaps, and slaps her ass. ‘I need to hear you say yes.’

‘ _Yes_.’ She says, hoarse. ‘Yes, come in me.’

With one last thrust, he releases himself with a loud, strangled moan. He leans over and presses his solid, sweaty chest against her back.

He pushes wet, hot kisses into her neck.

She pants, enjoys the feel of his weight and their bodies together.

‘You did so good.’ Ren tells her.

Too soon, he pulls out and rolls her over.

Rey can barely move, watches through dazed eyes as he unties her hands and loosens the binds around her waist.

A soft, warm glow has taken residence inside her. She thinks she might be floating or falling; it’s the same thing.

‘Rey?’ Ren asks. He runs soft fingertips over her throat and shoulders, as if trying to check she’s alright with touch.

‘I’m okay.’ She says, breathless.

He disappears from the room, and Rey lies sprawled on his bed. Her mind slowly crawls back to her. She’s drenched, her hair sticks to her face.

Ren returns with a canister of water and brings the edge to her lips. She tips her head up and drinks. It’s refreshing; a cold welcome to a valley of heat.

She pushes the canister away and feels a drop of water run down her throat. Ren drinks the rest of the water, and she watches him as he swallows.

‘We should wash.’ He says, his hand spread out on her pelvis, fingers over her curls.

‘I need to lie here.’ Rey says. She can’t move, even if she wants to.

He lies beside her, and props her head onto his chest. She rolls into him and drapes a leg over his pelvis and soft cock, her wet curls pressed against his hip.

Skin on skin contact, this is also delicious _._ He traces soft fingertips up and down her back. She closes her eyes, sighs.

He’s saying something to her, and she’s aware he sounds different.

Different to how he usually sounds.

But she can’t hear it, and succumbs to sleep.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The washroom is cold, dim and spacious. A large showerhead protrudes from the ceiling, water running down. Circular drains in the floor collects the water.

Rey stands under the showerhead, the water cascading over her body. She touches the wall with her hands and meets cool tile. Her breath is steady. She feels calm and focused.

Her thoughts veer into depravity when she sees the marks around her wrists. She checks her waist; the same. A heat stirs again. She exhales under the water and it falls into her mouth.

She barely hears the door open and turns to see him, standing there. Just awake. Naked. God, he’s so beautiful.

They say nothing.

Ren approaches. He steps under the water, inches away. In the dark room, she sees his face. He’s soft, tired.

He brings his hands to her shoulders, and runs the width of them down over her breasts, her waist and hips, and squeezes the sides of her ass.

Rey gasps; bites her lip.

They embrace under the water, arms around each other, her head on his chest. Her breasts against him, his soft cock pressed into her stomach.

Water falls into her eyes and she closes them.

They wash each other; and after, air dry in the same room, silently looking at each other.

He stares at her lithe form, the curve of her ass, the way her stomach glides down into her mound of curls.

When he leans against the wall, she stares at the tone and muscle of his mass, the definition of his chest, the way his cock hangs between his large thighs, surrounded by hair.

When they’re dry, he gives her a long shirt to wear, and he pulls on the clothes he’d worn earlier.

‘Let me make you something to eat.’ Ren says, when they’re in the hallway. His tone is almost as passive and unfeeling as it usually is, except something about the way he said it gives her pause.

‘Do I have time?’ She asks, but that’s not her main concern.

‘Curfew isn’t for another five hours.’

Rey considers. She’s not sure how to proceed. All she wanted was hot, rough sex. But now they’ve been intimate in ways other than fucking, and something about it makes her feel unsettled. Vulnerable.

Like waking after a dream, she’s suddenly, very aware that she’s standing in his shirt. The smell of him fills her up. It’s exhilarating. It also puts her in a position of weakness.

She can’t have that.

‘I told Sab I’d have dinner with her.’ Rey says.

He doesn’t reply, just watches as she pulls his shirt off in the middle of the cold hallway, and pads naked back to his bedroom to find her clothes.

Ren follows her and leans in the doorway with folded arms, watching her redress.

Her clothes reek of sex. She prays the walk back to camp will be one of solitude.

‘I can walk you.’ He says eventually, unemotive and low.

Rey turns, tightens the last bind around her waist, and remembers him holding it to fuck her. She fights to keep her breathing even.

‘No.’ She says. ‘I’d prefer to walk alone.’

‘That was fun’ she adds, in a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

And she doesn’t look directly at him as she leaves, just walks until she hits the walkway and exits the hangar doors.

It’s almost evening, and the air rushes to greet her. She stands in front of the ship for a long moment and exhales.

Surrounded by trees and dirt, the strewn pieces of herself come back. Nature calls her home. She remembers who she is.

Not prey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad things by Jace Everett
> 
> ❦
> 
> ps i wrote this months ago + i don't have the energy to edit :)  
> & ty for recent comments, it made me want to finish!!


	8. i'm sorry if i smothered you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Navigating power dynamics, sexual domination and explicit sexual content: see tags

Rey swipes forward with her saberstaff and Sab jumps back. She twists the saber in her hand.

‘Brakiss is losing his shit, you know.’ Sab says, mildly amused.

Rey ducks as Sab takes aim with her blue lightsaber, then blocks an incoming hit.

‘He’s always losing his shit.’ Rey says.

They break apart and circle each other.

‘I mean, really, this time.’ Sab continues. ‘I overheard Katarn last night. Brakiss has summoned The Crone.’

Rey finds herself caught off-guard and rushes to defend herself against Sab’s incoming attack.

Rey pushes Sab’s blade off and they both stumble backwards.

‘The Crone?’ Rey asks, but she already knows.

The Crone represents the matriarch of the Gray, a seer so powerful and unparalleled most other Consulars are terrified of her. She dwells in a cave somewhere on the planet, preserving ancient texts and predicting important events.

The accounts vary in her description, but people say the sight of her is meant to chill you to the bone. Rey’s even heard some claim they saw their true selves standing in her place. There was a time Rey thought her a myth.

‘Why would Brakiss do that?’ Rey thinks aloud.

Sab shrugs. ‘He lost it ages ago, if you ask me. Ever since he invited those walking warhammers into our camp.’

Rey smiles, twists her saberstaff.

‘I’m starting to hate it here.’ Sab confesses suddenly.

Rey tilts her head. ‘Because of the walking warhammers?’

‘I don’t know.’ Sab sighs. ‘I’m just getting sick of the same thing every day.’

Rey thinks of her childhood as one long blur of desert and sand, then says, ‘We could escape.’

Sab laughs.

‘We could steal a ship and become pirates.’

‘Careful now.’ Sab says, getting ready to lunge.

Rey blocks the hit, then their blades smack violently against each other, as they manoeuvre around the training ground.

‘I yield.’ Sab shouts, falls back.

Rey looks victorious above her and offers a hand.

‘Something’s different about you.’ Sab says, as Rey pulls her up.

‘What?’

‘I don’t know, you’re all glowing and shit. You look healthy.’

‘I’ve been sleeping well.’ Rey says.

Sab gives her a look, something like, _yeah, okay._

‘Are you practicing with Ren today?’ Sab asks.

They walk across the training ground, Rey’s saberstaff slung over her shoulder.

‘Just heading there now. We’re doing some kind of simulation.’

‘Oh, I see.’ Sab says, in a tone that sounds like she’s won their duel and not Rey.

‘What?’ Rey asks, gives her a look.

‘Nothing.’

‘You wanna go again?’ She threatens.

‘Not today.’ Sab says, rubs her wrist. ‘Good luck with the simulation.’

‘Good luck with your wrist.’

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Rey finds him outside the ziggurat, waiting for her. He greets her as he always does, with a nod of his helmet.

A flash of heat floods her face. She hears the _slap_ of her ass against his palm, the noise he made when he came, the way he filled her.

She walks behind him into the old structure, through narrow hallways, down winding steps and around crumbling walls.

They reach a dead end, and a big wooden door. It creaks open, and Rey follows Ren inside.

It’s a dark simulation room. The door screeches shut behind them, and she can barely see.

Ren does something in the dark, sounds like a clap, and a low pulsing light flickers above them.

‘I have a question.’ Rey starts carefully. She can see the outline of him, the silhouette of his broad shoulders, the sheer mass of his person.

He shifts toward her, waiting.

‘You can hear me, through the force?’

‘Only when it’s directed at me.’ The crackle and delivery of the modulator voice stills her.

The space between them seems to shrink and she realises she’s in the _dark_ , with _him_ , looking like _that_. The tension in her stomach spreads lower.

‘I can’t hear you.’ She bites out.

‘You don’t want to.’ He says without hesitation.

Rey frowns, though she’s not sure he can see it.

‘Shall we get started?’ He prompts curtly.

‘No. Tell me why I can’t hear you.’

‘I told you. You don’t want to hear me.’

‘That doesn’t make sense.’

‘Doesn’t it?’ He approaches her. The loom of his helmet under the flickering light is enough to make her breath hitch. He’s never looked so dangerous, and she’s never felt so safe.

‘Tell me.’ She hisses.

‘You’re not open to the idea.’ He says finally. ‘I am. I’m open to receiving, and you’re not. It’s that simple.’

‘I think we both know I’m open to receiving.’

‘Not mentally.’ He says, and the modulator voice grits through a long crackle.

Rey exhales. It should make her feel impenetrable; nothing can get in. But it doesn’t. It makes her feel weak, like he can do something she can’t.

‘Show me how.’ She breathes.

‘I don’t think that’s something I can teach you.’

‘You have to want it.’ He continues. ‘More than that, you have to bare yourself.’

Rey can’t answer. The tension explodes everywhere; reaches down into her legs and spreads to her shoulders and arms. It tightens all around her, like vines of steel.

It dawns on her there is just so much she doesn’t know.

‘Tell me about the Knight of Ren.’ She demands.

Ren steps back, almost disappearing into the dark.

‘Nobody knows their names.’ She continues. ‘Nobody knows what they look like. Why are you even here? What benefit do you get? Why would Brakiss even let you teach if he thought you were trying to tempt people to the dark side?’

‘He said that?’

‘Dolph did. A student.’

‘We don’t operate under these constructs, dark and light, good and evil.’ He says, and she can hear the irritation in his voice even as it is distorted by his helmet.

‘Tell me something.’ It comes more hiss than whisper. She hadn’t intended for her voice to break the way it did, but the dark affords her an illusion of privacy.

She continues: ‘Why are the Knights of Ren here? If you don’t subscribe to a side, what benefit do you get?’

‘We are repaying a debt owed. And we needed somewhere to hide.’ He answers, his voice clipped. ‘This planet, this school, is a second out of sync with the rest of the galaxy. It doesn’t appear on scanners, routes, charts. It’s the perfect hiding spot.’

‘What are you hiding from?’

‘That’s classified.’

‘Who are the Knights of Ren?’

‘You want their names? You want to write them letters?’ He’s mocking her now.

‘As it goes, yes.’

‘Ap’lek, Cardo, Kuruk, Trudgen, Vicrul, Ushar.’

Rey blinks, her victory marred by how he’d rattled off their names, so quick she can’t even remember the last one.

He adds, ‘Vicrul’s my favourite, but don’t tell the others.’

She shakes her head, bites the inside of her cheek.

‘We should get started.’ Ren says.

‘Still got your helmet on,’ She ignores him, ‘You’re not hiding from me, are you?’

‘You have a problem with my helmet? I thought you liked it. I’ve been inside your head, remember.’

She seethes and grits out, ‘You’ve been inside more than my head.’

A strange frisson elasticates around them, Rey can feel it beneath her fingertips. She’s rooted to the ground.

‘What do you want me to say, Rey?’ He cuts through her fire like ice with these spiteful, angry words. ‘You begged me to fuck you. I did. You left of your own volition.’

‘This is because I didn’t stay.’ She levels at him, eyes drawn.

‘No, _this_ is because you set the rules, I played your game, and now you feel inferior. There’s a power imbalance, and you can’t handle it. I warned you about this. I said you might feel differently.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’ She says, expression blank.

‘Nearly all of your sexual fantasies involve some kind of power imbalance. It’s the only way you can allow yourself to be with someone without having to accept that you might need them, even for a meaningless fuck.’

Rey fights the urge to wrap her hands around his throat and choke him to death.

‘You’re in control all the time.’ He says. ‘That must be exhausting. And it shows. The need to be prey bleeds out of you, trying to find balance.’

She exhales wildly, shaking with barely contained rage. It’s like he’s walking around inside her mind again, except this feels more truthful. He’s cutting her open again and again, through the same old wound and she’s going to bleed out.

He’s relentless.

‘You thought it would be hot if your teacher fucked you boneless? But it wasn’t a fantasy, Rey. I’m really your teacher.’ His helmet bears down at her. ‘And I know more than you.’ He steps closer. ‘And I warned you about this.’

Rey can barely see straight for the anger pulsating across her body. She hisses through clenched teeth, ‘I might have begged you to fuck me, but we both know you would have crawled over broken glass to do it.’

It takes everything inside her to turn away, to not use her fists against his stone chest. She’s halfway wrenching the door open when a swift, heavy force slams it shut.

She sees his hand beside her head, spread out on the door, and feels the warmth of him behind her. He’s breathing so hard it rasps through the modulator.

Rey feels her own breath hitch, and rests her hands against the wood. He places his other hand on the door, trapping her between his arms.

The cold metal of his helmet presses into the back of her neck, and she sighs with the sensation. Her body trembles as he presses his front into her back, and they just _fit_ together.

She pushes back against him, feels the outline of his erection between her ass cheeks.

Ren’s hands move from the door to wrap around her, so tight it knocks the breath out of her. She makes a noise between startled and aroused, and he hums through his mask in response.

‘Rey.’ He hisses. ‘Get on my cock.’

She bites her lip at the command, feels the last threads of her resolve untangle and float away like dust. Then he releases her and moves to sit on the ground.

She looks back, his silhouette barely visible from the dim light. Without hesitation she joins him on the ground, cold stone meeting her hands and knees.

Ren turns her around, her ass between his thighs, and she hears the fabric of his trousers unzip. Rey yanks her own trousers down, her cunt already soaking and ready.

When he grabs under her thighs, she realises his gloves are off. His nails dig into her flesh and she moans, unable to worry if she should be moaning. If they’re going to be interrupted.

He shifts back on his hips, then hoists her up, moving her ass onto his abdomen. She gasps with the move, and leans her hands back onto his sturdy shoulders.

He continues to hold her thighs up, and she can feel the hot pulse of his hard cock against her asshole.

‘Put me inside you.’ He rasps.

Rey reaches down with one hand to grab the head of his cock. It’s wet and hot against her fingers. She flicks the tip, once, twice, and feels his hips stir beneath her.

‘Rey.’ He growls. His nails dig further into her thighs as a warning.

She aligns his cock with her cunt, and jolts when he slams into her. She chokes with the movement, hears his own strangled grunt.

She wants to tell him, _yes, you feel so good, fill me up, stretch me out, I’m empty without your cock, fuck me forever, fuck me in every hole I have—_

She doesn’t say of this, probably because he already knows. She’s impaled on him, so tight and suffocating, every shift is a strain between their joined sex. This kind of pain she revels in.

‘Tell me if you want to stop.’ He grunts, and then begins to _fuck_ her. Relentless, angry thrusts, again and again and again. He holds her thighs up, the heels of her feet banging against his bent knees.

She grabs his arms for support, fingers clutching fabric. His muscles must have muscles, she thinks incoherently, because he is power fucking her from his hips. She’s completely dwarfed by him, a bouncing toy on a stone slab.

The slap of their sweaty flesh as his cock meets her cunt again and again echoes across the dark room. Her stuttered, soft breaths fill the air around them, and he grunts through his modulator.

_Talk to me,_ she thinks desperately, _through the force._

‘I told you.’ He grits ‘You’re—not— _open_ —’

Ironic, since he’s currently slamming himself in and out of her.

_But the temple,_ she thinks back, _you just walked right in and—_

‘You’d want that, would you?’ He grunts with a particularly long, hard thrust. ‘For me to enter your mind forcefully—’

‘Yes.’ She gasps. ‘Yes, do it.’

Like a splinter breaking through layers of skin, he pushes into her mind. She feels a wall shatter from deep within and suddenly she can _feel_ his heartbeat, his unsteady breath, the way his boots grind into the stone as he fucks her.

_‘Is this what you want?’_ His hoarse voice echoes around them, even if it’s only inside her head.

_‘Yes.’_

_‘Who fucks you this good?’_

_‘No one, just you.’_

_‘This is mine.’_

_‘Yes, yes, it’s yours.’_

It’s so unexpected, there hadn’t been a building of pleasure, but the pressure of him against her, inside her, is enough to compound on something primal, revered. She screams as she comes, pushed further by his voice, the sore grip of his hands around her thighs and the relentless movement of his cock.

_‘Say my name.’_

_‘Re—Ren’_

_‘Can I—’_

_‘Do it.’_

Abruptly, he buries himself to the hilt, drops her legs over his bent knees and holds her hips as she starts with the sudden change of angle. He groans, deep, guttural, and comes inside her.

His body shakes beneath her, and she pants when a second wave of pleasure rocks her. She’s riding his orgasm. She can even feel the spasm of his cock inside her tight warm walls. It’s unlike anything she’s ever experienced.

Her back slumps into his chest, hair stuck to her sweaty face. He’s boneless on the ground, still buried inside her. They pant in different rhythms, and Rey moves her head side to side, disorientated.

Embers of their climax still thrum inside her, remnants on her shaky breath and fluttered lids.

They lie there together for some time, even after they’ve composed themselves. Their force connection ebbs slowly until it fades completely and they’re separate entities again.

After they’ve fixed their clothes, Rey feels his gloved hands on her shoulders. He towers above her, the helmet boring at her with such intensity she finds it hard to return the stare.

She wonders what he might say, if they might argue again. If they might fuck again.

Then he says, ‘Begin simulation.’

The room whirls to life as armed holograms appear in the space around them.

And dripping wet, Rey starts the lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smother by Daughter
> 
> ❦
> 
> happy new year xx


	9. i know where you start, where you end, how to please, how to curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️ Explicit sexual content: consensual non-consent roleplay

She realises she’s running at a pace that feels inhuman.

Rey stops and her whole body lurches forward with the motion. Her hands and knees are sunken in wet mud. Her chest is caving with the weight of her breath, and she grimaces.

_Keep running,_ something inside her is screaming, clawing to be heard and obeyed. _Don’t stop. Keep running. Run!_

Her wet, blurred vision comes into focus and Rey looks up. It’s night, pitch black except for the delicate moonlight which barely hits the ground around her, and she’s in the forest.

Her mind scrambles to remember— _what am I doing out here?_ The last thing she recalls is pushing bricks against her bedroom door and falling into a warm, restless sleep.

Rey clenches the mud beneath her hands to make sure she isn’t dreaming—she isn’t—and pushes up onto wary feet. She scans her surroundings, ears primed for sounds not home to nature.

The only thing she’s certain of in this very moment is that she should be running. She should be putting distance between her and—

‘ _Fuck_.’ Rey hisses, and turns on the spot. The clearing ahead—the space she had just escaped—is dark, a murky swampy dark that promises a slow drowning death, and every blink of her watery lids reminds her of some unknown, uneasy truth.

But Rey has never taken the easy path, and she can’t start now. She calms her chest, evens her breath, and lets her limbs sigh. She closes her eyes and feels for the coil inside herself; the only thing she can ever rely on.

It unwinds itself and rushes to welcome her, flooding her with an infinite, abundant energy that has no beginning and no end. She feels roots under her fingertips, the seeds of new life in the dirt, the breath of nearby wildlife.

In her mind’s eye, she can see the environment ahead, heat spots for life, animals moving, trees blowing. But there’s something else in the forest with her—not human, not animal. It doesn’t register as visible, but Rey feels its energy.

It’s a predator.

She tries to discern how strong it is, what’s its weaknesses are, how she might fight it, but the energy slithers around trees and branches, avoiding her. It’s above her, and suddenly she can see herself from a bird eye’s view.

She can see herself _through_ the eyes of the predator.

Rey _knows_ its name, she does, it’s on the tip of her tongue, she will name this creature and she will—

The door slams shut and Rey falls into her bed, staining her sheets with mud. She’s still crying, and she can’t remember the walk back, and she can’t remember why she’s bleeding, and she can’t remember what she _knows_ , except that it’s something important – and it’s about her.

‘The Crone.’ Rey whispers, and succumbs to herself.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Two lit sabers protrude from the bark of an ancient tree, Rey’s head between them, her back against the bark. The heat from the sabers sizzle her face.

Her body jerks up and down as Ren fucks her. He holds the back of her knees up; her legs dangling.

She’s mainly clothed, though her trousers are bunched at her knees. He towers over her in his full The Master of the Knights of Ren attire. They’re roleplaying. He’s an evil galactic warlord. She’s a kidnapped orphan.

She stares into his helmet and shudders as he hits a weak, sensitive spot.

‘Take it.’ He says, in that modulator voice that sends a thrill down her spine.

‘Please.’ Rey pants, ‘I’m just an innocent farm girl—’

‘Look at how you’re taking me, slut.’

She looks down, sees his big, thick cock sliding in and out of her tight, wet cunt. She pushes weakly against his chest.

The bark grinds against her back. She’ll have marks.

‘Touch yourself.’ He commands.

Rey gasps. ‘But I’ve never done that before.’

‘Touch. Yourself.’ He slams into her with the words.

She looks at him, eyes wide and pleading. Then bites her lip. He tightens his grip around the back of her knees.

‘Don’t make me tell you again.’

Rey pushes the back of her head against the tree and feels soft sparks of electricity from the sabers. Then she moves her hand to her cunt. She’s soaked.

‘Good girl. Rub your clit.’

She whines in protest, then rubs her clit with shaky fingers.

‘You—feel—so—good.’ His modulator voice breaks between the words.

‘I hate you.’ She grits out.

He laughs, the sound rumbles in his helmet. ‘I think you like this. My little cumslut.’

He continues. ‘You’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?’

‘No— _never_.’

Ren pounds into her with renewed vigour. He fucks her so hard the sound of their sex hitting together is louder than a nearby waterfall.

‘Tell me you’ll come for me.’ He commands.

Rey grimaces, her whole body bouncing with his thrusts.

‘No.’

‘Maybe I should go back to your farm and kill your family.’

‘I’m an orphan.’

‘Your friends, then. Whoever you’ve fucked before. Whoever’s had their filthy cock in your sweet cunt, I’ll destroy them.’

‘Please don’t. They’re innocent.’

He thrusts so hard her shoulders almost come into contact with the buried lightsabers. Sparks sizzle through cloth. She hisses.

‘Shit, sorry.’

‘Doesn’t matter, keep going.’

‘Tell me you’ll come for me, or I’ll fuck you every hour until you do.’

Rey looks mortified at the idea. ‘Okay. I’ll—I’ll come for you. _Master_.’

He makes a strangled noise through the modulator and snaps. ‘Keep touching yourself.’

She makes a confused sound, almost a squeal, and asks, ‘Am I doing it right?’

He stares at her trembling fingers, trying to keep some kind of rhythm even as he fucks her into the bark.

‘My little slut. You’re doing so good.’

_Tell me you’re going to come in me,_ she thinks.

‘I’m going to— _fill_ —your tight little cunt.’ He sounds unhinged.

‘Please don’t.’ She gasps. ‘Please don’t come in me.’

‘You’re going to walk around leaking me for days.’

‘No, please—please _don’t_.’

He pushes in to the hilt and stills. She screams with the stretch. He drops one of her legs and wraps a gloved hand around her throat.

He comes, a spasm she can feel as if it were her own.

He pushes the cold metal of his helmet against her forehead, holding her there. She gasps.

The moment stretches, then he pulls back, slides out and lowers her other leg to the ground.

Rey leans against the tree, drenched in sweat. Her legs are smeared with their sex.

Ren unhooks his helmet and pulls off his gloves. ‘Now you.’ He breathes, and drops to his knees.

She stops his head with her hand. ‘If you were an evil intergalactic warlord, you wouldn’t give a fuck if I came.’

He smiles, and it warms her. ‘Deep down, I think I have a heart of gold.’

Rey laughs, releases his head.

‘Can I?’ He asks softly, presses a kiss into her thigh. He’s drenched in sweat, his hair stuck to his forehead. His lips are swollen, wet.

She nods, helps him pull her trousers off. Then gasps as he begins to lick her cunt.

‘What does it taste like?’

He pulls back for a moment. ‘Like honey. And me.’

Something about tasting himself in her seems to spur him on. He sucks on her clit, and she writhes forward.

Ren holds her hips against the bark, relentless. She has to hold the saber hilts to keep herself from buckling. The rough texture of the bark grinds against her ass cheeks.

The pleasure hits and hits and hits, like a flashing light. He slides a finger into her warm cunt, and she breathes his name.

It’s all she needs. She comes into his mouth, shaking. He continues to lick, drinking from the source.

After a long moment of this, Ren pulls her into his lap and she falls against him, exhausted.

‘That was hot.’ She barely hears herself.

Ren hums in agreement. He rubs his hands up and down her back.

Rey battles between leaving his embrace, and sinking further into it. There’s this unspoken intimacy after they’ve fucked, something they just slide into.

The sound of nature bleeds around them; the waterfall, the blowing trees, croaks and chirps from wildlife.

For a moment she gives in, enjoys the weight of him, the warmth, the smell of his sweat and their sex.

And then she pulls free, and walks to the nearby river to clean herself. Ren watches her from his position, idle.

‘How’d you get that cut?’ He asks suddenly.

Rey looks at the back of her right hand and frowns. It’s a long, sharp cut and it’s fresh.

‘I can’t remember.’ She replies. ‘I had a weird dream last night.’ She continues to wash herself of their union. ‘I was running in the forest; something was chasing me. I tried to fight it—and that’s when I woke up.’

‘Was anything out of place when you woke up?’

Rey thinks for a moment, something _itching_ in the back of her mind, but the moment passes and she shakes her head. ‘It’s not the first time I’ve had nightmares.’

‘I can get the nightmare if you want.’ He says casually, but she knows otherwise.

Rey wipes herself dry with her trousers and then shrugs them on. She faces Ren with a wide, glistening smile. ‘Try and take it from me.’

Ren frowns, leaning back on one strong arm. He looks up at her through dark, curious eyes, and focuses his force.

Rey feels his energy wrapping around her limbs and lungs, prying to be let in and struggling against her resistance. She exhales, imagining fire, and his tentacles flinch and scuttle away as quickly as they had arrived. She bears down at him, victorious.

Even Ren, the master of hidden knowledge, can’t hide his confusion.

‘How—’ He starts.

‘When I asked you to enter my head the other day, you gave me a blueprint I didn’t even know existed. I understood how you did it – and then I replicated that.’

She can finally, _finally_ hide herself from him, if she wants, and it’s horrible, it’s so annoying that it should feel amazing, it should feel glorious that she is not an open book anymore, but the longer the moment stretches the less it feels like a victory.

He looks lost in thought, in confusion, in wonder, and Rey feels a warmth in her stomach that has nothing to do with lust. She gives herself to this feeling and straddles his waist, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Ren is still processing his thoughts when she kisses him, which seems to bring him back. They fall into each other, wet mouths in sync, hands curious and caressing. He rolls her onto her back and covers her body with his entire weight.

Rey sighs, because it feels so _good_. He licks and bites her neck, kisses her lips, moving between her shoulders and her face. She captures his cheek with her hand and sucks on his swollen lower lip.

He grunts ‘ _Rey’_ like a prayer, a command; and pushes their sex together, clothed but needy. They rut against each other like animals, and pant into each other mouths, foreheads pressed together.

They lose themselves in this feeling, this world of each other, to the jungle and its primal ways.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

When Rey returns to the billet that evening and opens her bedroom door, she is stopped and stunned by her muddy bedsheets and matching discarded bed clothes. She thinks of the morning; of waking, of washing, of dressing – how can she not remember this?

She moves a soft finger over her fresh cut, and jolts. A pain, an echo, a whisper, comes to her from across the force. She hears only two words, in her own voice, over and over and over again.

_The Crone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mary Magdalene by FKA twigs


End file.
